Photo Credit:  Loren Javier

There is something inherently raw and human about a need to prove oneself.  Our teens and twenties seem to be freckled with instances of having this need and asserting this need.  I have felt this often in me- this burning desire to prove to the world that I am here, I belong, I am important and that you should know who I am and what I do.  But that has begun to change lately.

Clearly we all have an intrinsic need to belong. But how often to we – myself included seek recognition and view that as a determinate of our own success?  Basically, do we let the “others” factor of our lives become what guides us?  We say to ourselves- when others love my art, then I’ll be at peace.  When others pay be lots of money, then I will have found success.  And when others cant live without me, then I will belong and be of the utmost importance in this world.  But this is a precarious way of thinking.  For the more we focus on gaining others attention, the less we focus on the real and true things that demand our attention.

Time and experience tend to cause our fiery side to become more honed, less angsty and more focused on the important aspects of our lives. 

 Here are some results when we lessen our need to prove who we are in this world:

1. We will actually enjoy doing what we do for the right reasons.  Without the limelight as our goal, we will have a healthier focus and we may actually begin to realize that the right kind of people and circumstances begin to arrive at the opportune time.  Trusting in God is only real trust when we are willing to let go of some reigns and say- it’s going to be ok- it will happen in the way it should.
2. We will have a healthier self image when we don’t feel pressured to prove to the entire world that we belong.  This may sound ridiculous, but for a long time, I have felt this way.  I have always felt the need to have some amazing life circumstances to tell others.  Maybe I like the wow myself, but sometimes there is beauty in the simplicity of life.  There are wow moments and then there are sigh moments- and both have their place.  And here’s a shocker for everyone- not everyone will adore you or what you do.  If we’re honest with ourselves, this baffles us deep down.  Why would anyone not want to be my friend or be interested in what I do?  Because, my friend, we are all selfish.  We have our own plates full and things pressing for our time, energy and resources.  Once we realize this, we begin to find enjoyment in what we do because it brings us joy and not because we have an image to uphold.  Sadly, much of the music industry is sick from this disease of self.
3. We will begin to find satisfaction elsewhere (which I hope is in the one true Being), so the pressure to continually look good, act perfectly and impress others will begin to melt from our minds.  If our fulfillment does not rest in our earthly goals and achievements, we won’t feel as discouraged when we happen to fail or miss the mark.  We will realize we are human and fallible and that oftentimes we do not get what we want.  This is all a continually learned life lesson of “It’s not about me.”

I hope Tuesday brings positivity, wonder and a peace of mind.

~lme