Category Archives: Christian

The small hoorays in the darker days

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“Hooray Hooray

I’m your silver lining

Hooray Hooray

But now I’m gold”

~Rilo Kiley

Life is unexpected and sometimes it’s a pleasant surprise like Jenny Lewis says.  But on the other side of that coin, life is full of disappointments.  Wait, hear me out please.  Because these continual disappointments grow perspective.  And perspective can work toward your character building.  Believe me, I tire of the continual character-building, but these things all mixed to together ultimately puts us farther down the path to wisdom.  And I don’t think any of us would part with wisdom if it were given to us.  I am quite certain if you’re a human reading this, you’ve experienced some sense of disappointment in your life.  Probably even within the last week or 24 hour span.  It is a natural part of our world.  People disappoint, situations disappoint, and at times, we become altogether disappointed in ourselves and our placement in this life.  This is because we’re constricted here.  Yes yes- we’re in a carnal straightjacket.  And we’re dying to get it… pun intended. If you feel like sometimes your soul just needs to breathe, it’s because it does.  And it will.  In time.

So where is the positive in all this?  Perspective.  We have the opportunity, and blessing if we make it, to gain new perspective every time we are riddled with disappointment.   Disappointment teaches us 3 key things about ourselves:

1.  Disappointment teaches us we are imperfect.  We have never been and that is not easy to swallow.  We want our looks, our style, our relationships to be so ideal.  It’s pretty evident in the way we use facebook at times as a status symbol (how can we not?).  We are such visual beings, and realization that disappointment brings is the lie that our lives are so much worse than someone else’s.   This is a falsehood, told by the Father of them.

2.  Disappointment humbles us.  It shakes us up a bit and gives us a sampling of humble pie.  If I’m not careful, it’s amazing how quickly I can become inflated with pride.  When that bubble is burst, it makes it all the more deflating to my ego.  One of my weaknesses is the desire to want people to like me.  I think most of us do, but in the music world, this cannot control you.  If you let it be your guide, it will ultimately guide you where it will.  We must keep the humbling in our minds and remember that any praise or criticism should be weighed against the only One whose praise or criticism matters.

3.  Disappointment shows us our need for each other.  (Here’s a great song to demonstrate my point.) I can’t tell you the deepness of friendship that can grow from two parties realizing they have been in the same place.  My best friend lives in Texas.  We bonded over a similar experience with the same guy (albeit at different times:) What started out as a 4 hour conversation became a deeply rooted friendship.  These moments laden with raw emotion that the world tries to cause us to suppress are actually like fertilizer for deep roots in a relationship.  We all know that true friendship never rests in the superficial, but sometimes we lazily bob in the shallow end of the pool, afraid to delve into the unknown.  I challenge you to push your comfort zone.  Reach out to people you would not normally confront.  Give to those who can’t ever repay you.  And in your own circle, be willing to listen and possibly cultivate deeper and more meaningful friendships.

4.  Disappointment causes us to realize we are not, and have never, been in control of this place where we currently reside.  Like my own grapplings with faith and the pursuance of a life in music, I continually get hit with this truth.  I’d like to be in control.  I’d like to walk up to a producer, ask him to produce my work, walk up to my dream band members and have them say yes to playing with me for as long as we like and create music and lyrics that are so relatable that the world loves to sing my songs while being gladly willing to roadtrip and pay part of their hard-earned money to see our shows.  I’m not saying that won’t happen, but I am saying that life doesn’t ever (ever) turn out the way you map it.  There is uncharted territory. There are jungles.  There are enchanted forests full of blessings you never imagined.  There are even gifts bestowed that several years ago you would have never imagined or even knew you needed.

And along with all of this, there is disappointment.  Strangely enough, by tempering the good with the disappointment, we come to find this healthy view of the reality enveloping us.  And, we begin to see the good things in our life as immense blessings.  Our thought process begins to be revamped by our new attitude of gratitude.  From there, we can actually catch sight of little glimmers of peace and thankfulness and, as my dear friend said this week, the realization that we are right where we need to be. 

Any creativity or realizations that have come from those times?  As my mother told me “Good music comes from bad places.”  I believe some of the greatest art can come from some of our darkest days.  That being said, let’s look for the small hoorays even in the darker days.  Keep it up kids 🙂

~lme

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Who are you? 5 things that will determine where you land as an artist

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Who am I

and what I do

Is not what this world

Wants me to

I’ll trod a path

That’s yet unseen

You may shake your head

And jab at me

But some far morrow

A successful day

Will reveal

Truly creative will and way.

~leah

Ultimately, we all feel misunderstood.  As teenagers, as adults, as any human in the world.  We want so badly to be perceived for the way we see ourselves (though that probably isn’t in true light of who we really are).  Recently, I’ve come to realize, as a musician and as someone trying to spread goodness into the world around me for the ultimate Creator, that I cannot walk a conventional path with God and music.  Carefully pursuing music in Austin, I become connected with the independent scene, networking and getting out there by playing local shows in coffeehouses, a vintage clothing store and various open mics around town throughout a 2-4 year span.  There were aspects that I enjoyed- I loved meeting new people when I played open mics.  I actually determined one specific week to go to the open mic at Genuine Joe’s Coffeehouse- where I attended for consecutive weeks faithfully.  There were good conversations, memories of shows that have lingered like a familiar smell and friendships that are far but never forgotten. But, there were the continual often downsides to being in the wonderful world of music.

So, I am now challenging myself to brainstorm and create (when they say grassroots, this is truly grassroots) an unconventional business model for pursuing music in an often foreboding atmosphere.  There have to be people who look up for their inspiration.  There have to be people who stand for something true and right while also being creative souls.  I believe in creating a path where once was none, and a huge part of that for me involves the atmosphere and community with which I surround myself.  It is no more easier to be a musician and a convicted soul than to feel as if you are water and oil.  I have grappled with my purpose for years.  Why would God give me gifts but not allow me to use them?  Why is something so beautiful and amazing as music left to fend for itself in such dark places around America’s cities?  This is when I decided a different kind of atmosphere, people and touring would be some of the fire within my business model.  I would surround myself with those who would be ultimately striving for the same eternal goals, and I would find unconventional ways and places to share my gift of song.  So, that process is slow and in the making, but time pieces together things in ways yet to be seen.

Below is a list I’ve compiled of 5 factors that will determine where you end up as an artist in the world of creativity:

1. Your creative vision for yourself and the image you portray.  It’s true.  If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck….. Sometimes its hard to have people view you in unfavorable terms or to feel like if you don’t “sell- out” by portraying a certain image, that you’ll never get to where you want to be in the creative world and more specifically musical sphere.  Don’t listen to them.  Listen to someone who created you.  He knows better for you.  And listen to your intuition.  Don’t mold to a world that only wants to sell you as a product.  Be willing and courageous enough to be different.  In fact, being different is really in style right now.  Strangely enough, though, people are not as open-minded as they boldly claim to be once they learn the path on which you are walking.  But that doesn’t matter. Pay them no mind… just keep on your way.  “Play your music, write your songs, sing a little louder, and the world will sing along.”

2.  The people with whom you surround yourself.  The verse is truth “Evil company corrupts good morals.”  We can deny it all day long, but we know it’s true.  If you have sketchy feelings about people, or think “hey, I don’t get a trustworthy vibe from him,” remember that.  These are not the types of people you will want in your “inner circle” of musicians and businesspeople to work with.  Do people stand by their words?  Do they keep promises?  If not, I would be wary of doing any serious business venture with them.  Do people make mistakes?  Of course, and be willing to forgive and move past if it was an honest misunderstanding.  But remember, birds of a feather flock together.  And if you see characters in your group lacking character, it may be time to reassess the contacts you have made and accumulated.

3.  Your goals.  People say to write them down.  Listen to those people.  People say you can’t do it too- don’t listen to THOSE people. Writing your goals on paper makes it easier to go back and reference them.  It is also incredibly fulfilling to look at them and realize that over time, you have accomplished what you said you would.  Writing goals keeps them in your mind.  It also makes it somewhat tangible and may help you focus your efforts better.

4. Your attitude: toward both success and failure.  It’s rather hard to not take things personally.  I’m the queen of this one.  But taking it all in stride is the best way to approach each day- every compliment and every criticism.  Especially people telling you “your lyrics are just plain terrible” (yes, that really happened to me).  It’s important, I think, in the music industry, to not look around you too much for validation.  Your validation should come from God.  People will continually disappoint, and if you flounder in the waters of public opinion your whole life, you will never be satisfied.  Because, even if you end up on top for “glory moment in the sun,” life goes on.  And then, you will abdicate your temporary throne to the next newcomer on the music scene.  Enjoy successes- however little or large they be, but remember to keep it all in perspective.  You may be living large, but a slice of humble pie may be waiting around the corner.  Take the motto my best friend and I have done: “Everything at face value-don’t read into it much.” And to that I’ll add- let it roll off your sleeves.

5.  How you view your ultimate purpose and Who you ultimately serve.  Though this came last on the list, it really should pervade the entire list.  If you know Who you serve at the core of your life, then decisions will begin to fall like pages to one side or the other eventually. I know personally that I need to be asking about every decision- is this drawing me closer to Him or pulling me farther away? When others question your beliefs or a stand in one area (that they may claim is crazy), you will be able to know with every fibre of your being, that you are doing what you know to be right.  When your team of people is relatively small compared to others, when at times it seems that doors are closing and no windows are opening and when your dreams seem to be shed along the roadside and trampled by turtles? (great band), you can take comfort in this fact alone.  It doesn’t matter.  If you die poor and unknown, but faithful to God, the story will be a happy ending.  Even if you became the most successful musician and crowds of people could chant your name and sing every lyrical line you penned, none of that would matter if your mind wasn’t directed upward.  So, love what you do.  And do what you love.  But if God presents new and various opportunities, be willing to say “Here I am, use me.”  As much as I love music, often I clutch it far to tightly than I should.

So, here’s to finding like-minded creative souls who will be running for the same eternal goal and want to end up in the great land of promise.  If you know of anyone who fits this description or have any great resources in my efforts to pave a new path, feel free to shoot me an email at leahemusic@gmail.com.  I’d love to hear from you.  Keep walking toward the sun, and hold your hearts high.

~Leah marie

Beneath the Bellow

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Beneath the bellow

We hear the sounds before we see her arrive in radiant glory.                                                  Nothing rivals sound for she is what she performs.  The                                                      melodic chime and climb of a friend as well as a foe- who holds                                                the power to crush us- if she deemed it best.

Beneath the bellow

You ride.  I run alongside.  You sit properly poised.  I run in juxtaposition. I let nature run her jealously eager fingers through my ephemeral tresses.  An outsider has arisen from the underground.  Life gave it all to you, and yet she takes from me.

Beneath the bellow

Aspiration melts by the wayside and must be divided between buckets of sacrifice and sanctity.  Lay your bucket down. Tradeoffs are the payoffs.  And the conductor seems to blindly read braille, requiring a ticket of some kind.  I’m no holy roller, but here’s a holy punch.

Beneath the bellow

High above the celebratory billowing smoke of the                                                          locomotive’s   offering.  He above and we below. Below the                                                 Bellow, yet He has risen up higher than the offering of our                                            hands.  He is above the bellow, our       earthly bellow.  For the                                            groaning of our spirits rise in succession with the smoke of the                                                 stacks, the groan, the unintelligible utterings of a            conflicted                                           soul in pursuit of escape.  He has placed the yearning in the                                      firebox of the vessel- this vessel in harmony with your                                                   exhaling, transforming, suddenly appearing essence on the                                          page of history which for now remains but soon will rise as we                                           exit the station and fixate our hopes on an approaching                                                            destination.

Beneath the Bellow

All the frightened rabbits waiting

To interrupt lucid dreams

Caressed at night by hauntings

Unloose the seams

Running round, you made crop circles

Within the fleeing life

Pawing at the coffin for some answers

to the fear and flight

The landscape shaken out, like sheets

So desolate and vast

Lone tree rots from inside out

Mere façade of desert mast

Minions perform the dirty work

Unaware it’s never through and through

Vanity of a suppression

When your greatest fear

Is you.