Category Archives: Uncategorized

Scarlet Cord

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Scarlet Cord

You thought that you were coy

Lighting fires from the start

Stealing what was not yours to claim

Right behind a weaker heart

Choosing sides like choosing teams

Dirty shoes within the perfect, fallen snow

I’d love to tell you what I think of you

I’m far too classy for that though

 

Remember what I hoped

When I was young

Remember when the world was newer

And the rope I held

Had no past stories

To tell of the damage

That’s now been done

 

You confirm it was long ago

I wish the phantom was a lie

The vapor of a knife

I’ll always feel her presence in my side

The night we met still haunts me

I know I wont forget

the helpless hole within me

unsure of what the future gets 

 

Remember what I hoped

When I was young

I believed the world was newer

And the rope I held

Had no past stories

To tell of the damage

That’s now been done

 

How could I forget this

Sweep it past me in the room

Unlocking years of promises

Underneath the knowing moon

The art of war, uneven

Thieves come out ahead

While the understudy suffers

Crying softly in her bed

 

Remember what I hoped

When I was young

I believed the world was newer

And the rope I held

Had no past stories

To tell of the damage

That’s now been done

Ten things I want to remind myself of in 2014:

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Ten things I want to remind myself of in 2014:

  1. There are some things about myself that I cannot change, so focusing on those is game of spinning my wheels in negativity.  Things about the way I look or how my hair wants to go its own way or the fact that my “sense of style” seems quirky and weird and odd to people who stepped out of a J. Crew catalogue are all part of what make me.  So it’s time I got over myself. Be secure in who you are, because the world has never seen another one just like you.  And come on, doesn’t the next generation need to learn what it’s like to be a truly genuine human, happy and thankful with the way God made you?  You owe it to the world.
  2. You cannot please every single person, so take that into consideration when making important life decisions.  There will always be a critic, there will always be a doubter and there will almost always be someone trying to rob you of your joy.  Don’t let them, you hear me?  Do not let them.  They only want to suck you into the mire and the pit of negativity.  And with prayer and asking for wisdom, you will be able to choose the good road. 
  3. Some days will be productive and full of high fives, but there will also be others where you’re barely hanging onto the roller coaster handle.  You’ll wonder where those good days went or why the world seems tinged in grey, but ride the wave.  Don’t look at sadness as something to fear.  Look at sadness as a kind of thoughtful melancholy in which you may come to newer realizations of the world and gain nuggets of wisdom amidst the emotion. 
  4. Mercy requires work on my part.  The attitude that I am not perfect nor are the others around me is something that has come with time.  Less harsh in my dealings will help me have empathy.  Letting go of ill will in my heart, opens me up to produce and share good things in the world. 
  5. Not being able to know the end does not justify never beginning.  Crippling myself in fear will not help me to find the courage and happiness that lies just beyond the fear.  Fear tactics in myself and spewed at others will not help them to achieve success.  Cultivating a positive environment where friends feel safe to be themselves is great goal for the year.
  6. I hope even when life gets dark I can still see the wonder in the small things, the magic in the world around me and foster a sense of intrigue at the awesomeness of the world and the Great Creator of us all.  Because without wonder and beauty, the world seems all too dull and lifeless for my liking.
  7. It is time to stop wasting the time I’ve been given.  30 minutes feeling bad about myself or justifying my bad attitudes at others helps no one but the devil.  It is time I used those moments in creating or service or focusing on good or taking care of my body or whatever else my hands find to do with all their might.  I must not let myself be sucked into a pit of judgment, of comparison and of questioning why my life has run the same course as others.  Because trusting God means remembering that He does see the future and knows what’s best for me.
  8. It is time to love the “least of these.”  We fear and shy away from those different than us or those who have a darker past or who have sunk so far into the sickness of sin.  But aren’t we called to go to a people who so desperately need us?  Staying in a realm where we are respected and worshipped is not God’s plan for us.  His Son did not stay in the comfort of home, but allowed Himself to be spent for us.
  9. I want to use language of abundance.  I want to choose to cut words like poor in regards to finance and no money from my vocabulary.  I don’t want to use words that signify hopelessness like I don’t know how I will make it or life is awful or things are just so terrible.  Here’s the truth- they aren’t.  We are abundantly blessed in this country, full and clothed and with warm beds and roofs over our heads.  I want to possess a continual attitude of gratitude no matter what is happening to me or around me.  This little light of mine must even in the darkness shine.
  10. Last but not least, I want to have faith in the power of God.  I want to believe that He could do amazing things in my life.  I want to have faith that could move mountains and a sense of awe at the daily providence of my God.  He has been mindful of me.  He loves me.  He cares for me.  He has poured blessings on me and shown me a good way.  I want to be able to say that He is good in every circumstance, happy or challenging, in which I find myself.

 

And onto a great 2014,

lme

Neutral Hues

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Neutral Hues

One late orchid and the jasmine bloom

And then wilt away just as soon

The palest hues have washed these walls

Colors much removed

From the ruddy face of last year’s fall

Stark and minimal, empty dresser

Wooden canopy bed, wearing guaze

Blowing like a feather

The setting sun, lighting on my lowly skin

Making figures from magnolia trees asking when

I sink into the bed,

Into a surface gloom

As that voice escapes across the room

Trapped within a locket or hinged beneath the floor

I let my arm hang lifeless

A reminder of the life I was before

Cracking paint on baseboards where I stare at home

And every imperfection only served to pull this close

This day begins to close its eyes

Breathing is nothing but a sigh

The king provides a parable

With wisdom providing knowledge if the cup is full

And if I should lie here alone

Or chase to be

Let the light come soon,

Let there be some kind of sign for me.

 

~lme

Four Spiritual Truths

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Photo Courtesy of The Cornell Library Flickr photostream

Four Spiritual Truths on my mind today…

1.  Attitude is at the heart of everything.  This is something that I’ve been struck by lately.  I find it interesting that people who feel enlightened by some new “truth” they have found or by some new “way” that is so much better than an old way, feel as if they have really hit gold.  But strangely when they talk about the past and the way they felt dead spiritually or because of where they were, it seems as if much of what I’m hearing is their attitude in the situation.  Perhaps then, being new and enlightened really has nothing to do with what you know but the attitude with which you color your world.  It makes my heart sad when I hear of people who have rejected those who at one time they respected or they considered as brothers in the faith, but because they have reached a new plateau of understanding, there is no need to be around those of seemingly lesser enlightenment.  I find it even more sad that we, self included, are continually judging the spirituality or spiritual rightness of those around us by what we feel or what we see or what we believe must be the best course of action.  For anyone who has lived any length of time knows how faulty man’s reasoning and judgments can be, which is why we must be careful of listening to merely our own hearts, our own feelings and our own opinions of what God would have us to do.  We should humbly come before His throne and His Word seeking direction and asking what we can do to be right before Him.

2.  Giving to the poor and afflicted is not merely a suggestion.  Luke 12:33 stood out to me today.  It is a command and not just a lovely, utopic suggestion.  Sell your possessions and give to those in need.  It doesn’t say if you feel like it or if you happen to get rich.  We should work toward giving excess we have to others who have nothing.  

3.  We are all connected in the great big scheme of life. 1 Corinthians 11:12 shows me that we are all in all together.  “For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God.” Woman came to earth through a man’s rib and man comes to earth as a child through a woman.  It reminds me of Walt Whitman poetry how I am you and you are me.  There is so much rebirth and life imagery in his stuff.  It’s really amazing and also terrifying that all of us are so interconnected.  This is felt every day and in crisis situations.  We feel the impact of new life, of a death, of troubles of our friends and the ebb and flow of various relationships.

4.  God’s concepts on things are really different than ours.  For example, In 1 Corinthians 12:24, after Paul is talking about the non-honorable parts needing more modesty, he says “But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it.”  God then gives honor to things that we as humans would think are dishonorable.  It makes me think about how we would see serving others as lowly and without honor.  But God tells us that in humbling ourselves, we will be exalted.  His ways of doing things are sometimes contrary to what ours would be.  Let us all remember that at times when we arrogantly think we know what is best.

~lme

Sharing a blog post from Seth Godin

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Just thought I’d share a good one by Seth Godin that I read today in my old emails.

Does anger follow the laws of thermodynamics?

I have no idea what caused the guy in front of me in traffic to be having a bad day.

Maybe he has a stressful meeting coming up, or his butler burned his bacon at breakfast. Maybe he’s having trouble paying his rent, or his industry is under seige. All I know is that he’s weaving in and out, giving people the finger and yelling at other cars, all at the same time.

Unlike cupcakes, anger isn’t conserved.

If I have a cupcake and I give it to you, I don’t have a cupcake any more. But if someone who is angry gives you their anger, now you both might have it.

You’ve seen it too many times before. Someone is afraid, untethered or just upset about something that happened long before you walked into the room. Unbridled agita is dumped on you, spittle flying, eyes wide, personal invective unfiltered. Just feet away, the angry person is saying, “here,” and dumping vitriol in your direction.

All connection gets severed, any chance for positive engagement seems long gone. The opportunity, it seems, is to pick up some of that anger and throw it right back, where it came from.

And now, of course, both of you are having a bad day.

Shared anger destroys trust. It eliminates dialogue. It activates the lizard brain of everyone within earshot, and produces nothing of value.

No credit goes to the person who vents, who opens his spleen and shares his anger. No points for bravery or honesty or getting in touch with his feelings. Anger shared is not anger ameliorated.

Talk about it, don’t talk with it. Point it out, and then leave it there, on the floor, where, unengaged, the anger can’t help but wither and die.

For more great blogs by Godin, please check out his blog right here!

Happy weekend~

lme

Wrapped in grey

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I remember the day

The day the world was wrapped in grey

It came fast

And it stayed

For a good long while this way.

 

The minds plus and minus of the world

The logical

Their intelligence unfurled

Began to notice missing things

All lines became straight which once were swirled

 

The paintings were no more on walls

No music heard down through the halls

the colors in the fabric

began to melt away

and everything began to fade into grey

 

the calculators were there

and the pens and the paper too

but slowly through the day

all the pants, shirts, picture frames and foods

began to drip their colors and what was left was grey

 

people began to disappear

the people who were odd and funny

so different, the laughing stock

the ones we could not understand

the ones with wrinkled frocks

 

oh there was math and science too

the methods above the madness

there was what they told us

was so important

and the color slowly melted

into a massive pool of sadness

 

and as they reveled in their logic

believing they had won

with each passing day their hearts grew heavy

without the variety of the ones who were gone

and upon the lips of the dying man, I heard him say

now I know without the other shades

I am sinking into the saddest shade of grey.

~lme

Tuesday thoughts from Isaiah

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It’s interesting how much Isaiah talks about God humbling people and how all those who are proud will be brought low to the dust in various places throughout the text.  The world of music and pride seem to work rather hand in hand so here are some things I’m pondering about pride…

  1. Pride chooses not to give proper credit.  Whether it’s taking pride for something you didn’t actually accomplish or whether it is not giving glory to God who helped you get to where you are, there are various ways it can take shape.  In Isaiah 23:9, it says “The Lord of hosts has purposed it, to bring to dishonor the pride of all glory, to bring into contempt all the honorable of the earth.”  Being in the world of music can open one’s eyes to various forms of pride of life through image, inflated ego and overall sense of place in the world.  It doesn’t take but a few compliments, some positive career moves and some recognition to make one lowly artist start to think they have something good.  Forgetting where this came from displaces the glory and begins to feed sense of self as it morphs into a monster.
  2. Pride elevates our sense of our placement in the world and amongst others.  We know that we are all human and that we make mistakes and that others are created in His image.  Oftentimes, we forget this when we have ugly thoughts and attitudes in our mind or make rash judgments at a situation before really taking the time to get to know what is going on or to see another point of view.  At times, it seems as if musicians are seen as those who had the gift of prophecy- as the best of all the gifts.  We put them on a stage and we idolize their every move, because they have something that some of us can only dream of having.  This strangely isn’t true- and various artists have different skills.  If you only knew how much each artist really wishes they could be like their influences and how they doubt themselves on a daily basis, you might not place them so high on rungs of the ladder of idolization.  One is a hand and one is a foot, but gifts like drawing, sculpting, horticulture, math savvy, memorization, communication, people skills, conflict resolution skills, management, scientific smarts, and inventing are all types of skills that are important and creative in their own rights.  Music is just one piece of a larger creative pie that we all take part in.
  3. Self is at the root of pride.  Pride whispers to us that we deserve so much more. Pride tells that we are so much better than the person less nicely dressed. Pride makes us believe that we are more attractive than someone else and therefore should be treated better or have more opportunities in life.  Pride makes us burn with anger when corrected by someone.  Pride causes us to disengage ourselves from those who need us and have loved us since we were young.  Pride is envious of others success and being angry that we don’t have it for our own.
  4. Pride will one day be irrelevant.  Either the ones who have lived and reveled in their own pride and self-worth will be brought low by the Maker of the world or those who have humbled themselves will be exalted not of anything of their own doing but by their attitude toward the One ruling all.

May we as musicians really strive to lay pride aside, do what we love and have been given as gifts to share with the world.  May we not think of ourselves higher than we ought.  May we play with fervor but not with pride.  May we let ourselves be vessels of song and lay our gifts at the Feet of Him from whom all blessing flow.

~lme

Ease from the hurt

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There has been much overwhelming sadness in the world lately.  People are hurting in the Philippines, a tornado ripped through the Midwest, a wonderful soul has been missing for over a day now and people are struggling and hurting the world round.  Amidst a world of pain that weighs on us every single day, I somehow still momentarily can feel the warmth of shreds of light and goodness.  I see people stretching out their hands to help those in need.  I see people who are willing to sacrifice themselves.  I also see smiles and the warmth of people’s souls shine forth in their actions.  The way that spiritual beings unite in a crisis points to a something greater and a hope that cannot be destroyed.  Knowing that we are not alone and that someday we will be together again is something that helps us to push through the dark and dismal world full of failure and imperfection, sadness and tragedy.

Praying for all those hurting right now.  It makes me think about how really our purpose for being here is to point people to our Great Maker and to ease the hurt of those around us.  Really, what else is there?  All else is vanity.  And that’s the strange thing about sudden change and death and pain.  It draws us all closer together and makes us realize the beautiful and important facets of this life.  It isn’t the things or the fame or the money or the success but the real Truth shining in His Word and the hope of our home in another place.

To Adam who I never knew really well, you seem to be so loved by so many.  Your short life is a testament to goodness and God and may I have the opportunity to meet you on the other side someday.  I respect your individuality and the way you were known to make people laugh.  Perhaps you’re making the Lord smile as we go about our business down here. 

May God be taking care of you Adam 🙂

Love, leah

 

 

Plateaus, Laurels and Comfort Zones

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Plateaus:  If we aren’t careful…. At points in our lives we realize we’ve been on cruise control spiritually.  We work really hard, achieve some level of success in some way toward our accomplishments and then it happens.  We quickly become comfortable in our complacency.  We get used to routine or people or our career and how hard it becomes as we age to break some of our comfort molds.  But I challenge myself and you to do this…. Even on a daily basis.  Don’t be afraid to talk to someone new.  Don’t be afraid to push yourself or do something you’re afraid of.  Even if you make a tiny step every single day, imagine what strides you might make by the end of the week or month or year. 

It’s so easy to grow lazy in my daily life.  It’s so easy to whine and tell myself that life is hard and God can only expect so much of me, because hey, I’m tired.  But here’s something I’ve thought about …. We are light bearers.  If that is truly what we are, are we not to go out into a darkened world and literally shine our lights?  If we stay in our own communities of light and never take that into the darkness, how much good have we done?  If I only love others who love me, then how can I say I am doing much more than everyone else?

Laurels:  It’s really easy to dwell in the past- both negatively and positively.  Look at all I have done for God- look at these great things… and we begin to lose moments of the now to affect positive change.  We can also dwell in our misfortunes, imperfections as humans and failings in the kingdom long after they have passed.  This is unhealthy from both sides of that coin.  Right now- think about living in this one moment you have been given and what you can do, big or small, to serve God.

Comfort Zones:  We love them.  We live in them.  We wrap them round us like a blanket.  Well, some people more than others.  Stop loving them.  Right now.  Push them, stretch them, watch them grow until you begin to reduce your own sense of fear in many situations.  I believe fear is something we let begin to reign in our minds and bodies and God never meant for us to have such a spirit of fear.  He wants us to grow and thrive and heal and help others and do good (and this is such a run-on).   But seriously, I do think he wanted such good things for us, but I also think he wants to push us.  Do you think it was easy for David to stick his neck out for his people and fight a giant?  Do you think it was just a walk in the park for Abraham to leave everything he had ever known and jump faithfully into the arms of God?  Do you think it was simple to die for humankind?

So on this Monday- the early part of your week, I challenge you and me and everyone.  I challenge us to not necessarily think of our lives and the way we act in the same ways we have always done.  I challenge us to think of ways we might be able to serve even if it scares us.  I challenge us like Peter to step out of the boat in faith that God will help his children when they trust Him and truly desire to do His will and share the Good News and do good things in the world.

 

Go forth.
~lme

Growth

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Growing.  Like a plant.

 

Growing.  Like a plant.  Toward sunlight even though at times it’s blinding. 

 

Growing.  Like a plant.  Through dirt that is messy and muddy and frustrating when I can’t break through.

 

Growing.  Like a plant.  From roots that were given and toward the surface of the soil where I know I can be and where I belong.  But it takes work.

 

Growing.  Like a plant.  Having to remember that it is a day by day process and not an overnight sensation where all is recognized, rewarded and accomplished at once.

 

Growing.  Like a plant.

 

Go and grow today, tomorrow and the day after.

~lme