Open mind and heart


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Photo Courtesy: This flickr stream

Some things I’ve realized about the idea of having an open mind and heart and what I personally think it really means.

  1. An open mind is one that is willing to study and think and not think it knows the all the answers.
  2. An open mind is one that doesn’t point fingers and tell everyone how judgmental they are.
  3. An open mind is willing to show the same respect and care to others who disagree from their views as those who see eye to eye with them.
  4. An open heart means not only giving of ourselves and of our means to those we enjoy but also the difficult, the unruly, those who seem to be different, odd or drain us of our energy.
  5. An open heart will try its best to not slap labels instantly on a person, groups of people or try to state the situation of hearts until fruit has become evidence of worthy or unworthy conduct.
  6. An open heart doesn’t seek to ostracize but seeks to mend, to unify and to pursue peace.

Water and erosion


Waves upon waves

of searing, new folds of pain

eroding what I knew

Day after day

Why will you keep haunting me

As if you don’t desire me to recover

How will I heal

If I’m not left alone

My bleeding little fingers

Gripping the Rock

While the damp air whips

My hair about my cheeks and ears

And satan whispers

He is no longer here

Lies are in your chest

Lies are what you do best

I know this is just a test

I would not say I’m brave

You said you’d never leave

So perhaps I can hold on

For just one more day

~lme

Thoughts I’m thinking- take them or leave them


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Photo Courtesy:  Smithsonian photostream

You can only control you.  Spending your lifetime being frustrated that others aren’t doing what you want or what you believe they should be doing is a waste of time.  Trying to discern and know the hearts of those around you can’t be wholly known.  By your fruits you will know them, but ultimately it can be a release to know it is not your ballgame to referee.

As much as you’d like to think you’re in control, I know you’ll admit that you are completely helpless and powerless at times.  I think when I’m most discouraged is when I feel helpless, as if there is nothing that I physically can do to change a situation.  Sometimes there is not a thing I can do.  There is Someone who can though.

Do we all have a misconception of perfection and when something doesn’t align, we’d rather just toss it than try to fix it?  We are a throw-away generation.  We have this luxury of doing that with almost anything and everything from plastic bottles   and beyond.

Because we are able to eat fast food, fast meals and have the world at our fingertips, are we growing less capable of possessing patience.  Instead of waiting and watching and cultivating a garden, we choke things out by “too much watering, too fast.”  Why not take the time to think of a project, a challenge or something you hope to achieve that you know will take longer than a month.

There is only so much of an energy reserve in your body and mind.  Some days it gets used up rather quickly.  Other days you are able to prolong it.  Some weeks drain you emotionally while others will fill your cup.  Sometimes the knowledge and continual presence of social media can really tend to exhaust your soul.  Limiting it can be a healthy thing to do at points.  I like to think about a time when the only people you would know lived on the surrounding farms, but your information was much more limited.  I actually think that was probably pretty healthy since you weren’t continually and unnecessarily concerned with the affairs of everyone outside your sphere.  We carry the weight of the world on us knowing the pains and problems of all those around us and beyond.  It can seem overwhelming at times I know.

Something positive to end this post is what I need.  It doesn’t matter how many facebook friends you have if you have five people you can count on in an emergency to be there for you.  It doesn’t matter how flawed and broken you are, the perfect Son has already done amazing things to make you whole.  If you try your whole life and achieve your own goals and no one notices, cares or compliments your bravery, talent or perseverance, God cares.  He’s cheering you on in the final stretches where you’re taking off in a sprint for what you have been working so hard.  He’s sitting next to you.  He’s listening to you when you feel desperately alone.  He’s listening to me when I’m wondering how I will take another step in the right direction.  Whether you’re in an elevator, a car driving home, a doctors office awaiting news or an open field with a world of stars above your head reminding you how small you really are, He is there.  In the words of the letter He left us, you can hear His voice.  And even when the world begins to be washed in grey from the monotony of life, He is there.  Always there.  In the confusion.  There.  In the questions.  There.  In the Answers.  There.  When the storm won’t seem to let up even for a minute.  There.

Take heart my brother.

~lme

Ten things I want to remind myself of in 2014:


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Photo Courtesy:  Flickr photostream of New South Wales

Ten things I want to remind myself of in 2014:

  1. There are some things about myself that I cannot change, so focusing on those is game of spinning my wheels in negativity.  Things about the way I look or how my hair wants to go its own way or the fact that my “sense of style” seems quirky and weird and odd to people who stepped out of a J. Crew catalogue are all part of what make me.  So it’s time I got over myself. Be secure in who you are, because the world has never seen another one just like you.  And come on, doesn’t the next generation need to learn what it’s like to be a truly genuine human, happy and thankful with the way God made you?  You owe it to the world.
  2. You cannot please every single person, so take that into consideration when making important life decisions.  There will always be a critic, there will always be a doubter and there will almost always be someone trying to rob you of your joy.  Don’t let them, you hear me?  Do not let them.  They only want to suck you into the mire and the pit of negativity.  And with prayer and asking for wisdom, you will be able to choose the good road. 
  3. Some days will be productive and full of high fives, but there will also be others where you’re barely hanging onto the roller coaster handle.  You’ll wonder where those good days went or why the world seems tinged in grey, but ride the wave.  Don’t look at sadness as something to fear.  Look at sadness as a kind of thoughtful melancholy in which you may come to newer realizations of the world and gain nuggets of wisdom amidst the emotion. 
  4. Mercy requires work on my part.  The attitude that I am not perfect nor are the others around me is something that has come with time.  Less harsh in my dealings will help me have empathy.  Letting go of ill will in my heart, opens me up to produce and share good things in the world. 
  5. Not being able to know the end does not justify never beginning.  Crippling myself in fear will not help me to find the courage and happiness that lies just beyond the fear.  Fear tactics in myself and spewed at others will not help them to achieve success.  Cultivating a positive environment where friends feel safe to be themselves is great goal for the year.
  6. I hope even when life gets dark I can still see the wonder in the small things, the magic in the world around me and foster a sense of intrigue at the awesomeness of the world and the Great Creator of us all.  Because without wonder and beauty, the world seems all too dull and lifeless for my liking.
  7. It is time to stop wasting the time I’ve been given.  30 minutes feeling bad about myself or justifying my bad attitudes at others helps no one but the devil.  It is time I used those moments in creating or service or focusing on good or taking care of my body or whatever else my hands find to do with all their might.  I must not let myself be sucked into a pit of judgment, of comparison and of questioning why my life has run the same course as others.  Because trusting God means remembering that He does see the future and knows what’s best for me.
  8. It is time to love the “least of these.”  We fear and shy away from those different than us or those who have a darker past or who have sunk so far into the sickness of sin.  But aren’t we called to go to a people who so desperately need us?  Staying in a realm where we are respected and worshipped is not God’s plan for us.  His Son did not stay in the comfort of home, but allowed Himself to be spent for us.
  9. I want to use language of abundance.  I want to choose to cut words like poor in regards to finance and no money from my vocabulary.  I don’t want to use words that signify hopelessness like I don’t know how I will make it or life is awful or things are just so terrible.  Here’s the truth- they aren’t.  We are abundantly blessed in this country, full and clothed and with warm beds and roofs over our heads.  I want to possess a continual attitude of gratitude no matter what is happening to me or around me.  This little light of mine must even in the darkness shine.
  10. Last but not least, I want to have faith in the power of God.  I want to believe that He could do amazing things in my life.  I want to have faith that could move mountains and a sense of awe at the daily providence of my God.  He has been mindful of me.  He loves me.  He cares for me.  He has poured blessings on me and shown me a good way.  I want to be able to say that He is good in every circumstance, happy or challenging, in which I find myself.

 

And onto a great 2014,

lme

Neutral Hues


Neutral Hues

One late orchid and the jasmine bloom

And then wilt away just as soon

The palest hues have washed these walls

Colors much removed

From the ruddy face of last year’s fall

Stark and minimal, empty dresser

Wooden canopy bed, wearing guaze

Blowing like a feather

The setting sun, lighting on my lowly skin

Making figures from magnolia trees asking when

I sink into the bed,

Into a surface gloom

As that voice escapes across the room

Trapped within a locket or hinged beneath the floor

I let my arm hang lifeless

A reminder of the life I was before

Cracking paint on baseboards where I stare at home

And every imperfection only served to pull this close

This day begins to close its eyes

Breathing is nothing but a sigh

The king provides a parable

With wisdom providing knowledge if the cup is full

And if I should lie here alone

Or chase to be

Let the light come soon,

Let there be some kind of sign for me.

 

~lme

Four Spiritual Truths


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Photo Courtesy of The Cornell Library Flickr photostream

Four Spiritual Truths on my mind today…

1.  Attitude is at the heart of everything.  This is something that I’ve been struck by lately.  I find it interesting that people who feel enlightened by some new “truth” they have found or by some new “way” that is so much better than an old way, feel as if they have really hit gold.  But strangely when they talk about the past and the way they felt dead spiritually or because of where they were, it seems as if much of what I’m hearing is their attitude in the situation.  Perhaps then, being new and enlightened really has nothing to do with what you know but the attitude with which you color your world.  It makes my heart sad when I hear of people who have rejected those who at one time they respected or they considered as brothers in the faith, but because they have reached a new plateau of understanding, there is no need to be around those of seemingly lesser enlightenment.  I find it even more sad that we, self included, are continually judging the spirituality or spiritual rightness of those around us by what we feel or what we see or what we believe must be the best course of action.  For anyone who has lived any length of time knows how faulty man’s reasoning and judgments can be, which is why we must be careful of listening to merely our own hearts, our own feelings and our own opinions of what God would have us to do.  We should humbly come before His throne and His Word seeking direction and asking what we can do to be right before Him.

2.  Giving to the poor and afflicted is not merely a suggestion.  Luke 12:33 stood out to me today.  It is a command and not just a lovely, utopic suggestion.  Sell your possessions and give to those in need.  It doesn’t say if you feel like it or if you happen to get rich.  We should work toward giving excess we have to others who have nothing.  

3.  We are all connected in the great big scheme of life. 1 Corinthians 11:12 shows me that we are all in all together.  “For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God.” Woman came to earth through a man’s rib and man comes to earth as a child through a woman.  It reminds me of Walt Whitman poetry how I am you and you are me.  There is so much rebirth and life imagery in his stuff.  It’s really amazing and also terrifying that all of us are so interconnected.  This is felt every day and in crisis situations.  We feel the impact of new life, of a death, of troubles of our friends and the ebb and flow of various relationships.

4.  God’s concepts on things are really different than ours.  For example, In 1 Corinthians 12:24, after Paul is talking about the non-honorable parts needing more modesty, he says “But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it.”  God then gives honor to things that we as humans would think are dishonorable.  It makes me think about how we would see serving others as lowly and without honor.  But God tells us that in humbling ourselves, we will be exalted.  His ways of doing things are sometimes contrary to what ours would be.  Let us all remember that at times when we arrogantly think we know what is best.

~lme

Tuesday thoughts from Isaiah


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Photo Courtesy:  National Media Museum flickr photostream

It’s interesting how much Isaiah talks about God humbling people and how all those who are proud will be brought low to the dust in various places throughout the text.  The world of music and pride seem to work rather hand in hand so here are some things I’m pondering about pride…

  1. Pride chooses not to give proper credit.  Whether it’s taking pride for something you didn’t actually accomplish or whether it is not giving glory to God who helped you get to where you are, there are various ways it can take shape.  In Isaiah 23:9, it says “The Lord of hosts has purposed it, to bring to dishonor the pride of all glory, to bring into contempt all the honorable of the earth.”  Being in the world of music can open one’s eyes to various forms of pride of life through image, inflated ego and overall sense of place in the world.  It doesn’t take but a few compliments, some positive career moves and some recognition to make one lowly artist start to think they have something good.  Forgetting where this came from displaces the glory and begins to feed sense of self as it morphs into a monster.
  2. Pride elevates our sense of our placement in the world and amongst others.  We know that we are all human and that we make mistakes and that others are created in His image.  Oftentimes, we forget this when we have ugly thoughts and attitudes in our mind or make rash judgments at a situation before really taking the time to get to know what is going on or to see another point of view.  At times, it seems as if musicians are seen as those who had the gift of prophecy- as the best of all the gifts.  We put them on a stage and we idolize their every move, because they have something that some of us can only dream of having.  This strangely isn’t true- and various artists have different skills.  If you only knew how much each artist really wishes they could be like their influences and how they doubt themselves on a daily basis, you might not place them so high on rungs of the ladder of idolization.  One is a hand and one is a foot, but gifts like drawing, sculpting, horticulture, math savvy, memorization, communication, people skills, conflict resolution skills, management, scientific smarts, and inventing are all types of skills that are important and creative in their own rights.  Music is just one piece of a larger creative pie that we all take part in.
  3. Self is at the root of pride.  Pride whispers to us that we deserve so much more. Pride tells that we are so much better than the person less nicely dressed. Pride makes us believe that we are more attractive than someone else and therefore should be treated better or have more opportunities in life.  Pride makes us burn with anger when corrected by someone.  Pride causes us to disengage ourselves from those who need us and have loved us since we were young.  Pride is envious of others success and being angry that we don’t have it for our own.
  4. Pride will one day be irrelevant.  Either the ones who have lived and reveled in their own pride and self-worth will be brought low by the Maker of the world or those who have humbled themselves will be exalted not of anything of their own doing but by their attitude toward the One ruling all.

May we as musicians really strive to lay pride aside, do what we love and have been given as gifts to share with the world.  May we not think of ourselves higher than we ought.  May we play with fervor but not with pride.  May we let ourselves be vessels of song and lay our gifts at the Feet of Him from whom all blessing flow.

~lme

Ease from the hurt


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Photo Courtesy:  National Archives flickr photostream

There has been much overwhelming sadness in the world lately.  People are hurting in the Philippines, a tornado ripped through the Midwest, a wonderful soul has been missing for over a day now and people are struggling and hurting the world round.  Amidst a world of pain that weighs on us every single day, I somehow still momentarily can feel the warmth of shreds of light and goodness.  I see people stretching out their hands to help those in need.  I see people who are willing to sacrifice themselves.  I also see smiles and the warmth of people’s souls shine forth in their actions.  The way that spiritual beings unite in a crisis points to a something greater and a hope that cannot be destroyed.  Knowing that we are not alone and that someday we will be together again is something that helps us to push through the dark and dismal world full of failure and imperfection, sadness and tragedy.

Praying for all those hurting right now.  It makes me think about how really our purpose for being here is to point people to our Great Maker and to ease the hurt of those around us.  Really, what else is there?  All else is vanity.  And that’s the strange thing about sudden change and death and pain.  It draws us all closer together and makes us realize the beautiful and important facets of this life.  It isn’t the things or the fame or the money or the success but the real Truth shining in His Word and the hope of our home in another place.

To Adam who I never knew really well, you seem to be so loved by so many.  Your short life is a testament to goodness and God and may I have the opportunity to meet you on the other side someday.  I respect your individuality and the way you were known to make people laugh.  Perhaps you’re making the Lord smile as we go about our business down here. 

May God be taking care of you Adam 🙂

Love, leah

 

 

Monday poetry


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Photo Courtesy: Cornell Library photostream

Validation

I once buried a seed

The need to be filled

The coffin rests in the ground

It’s sinking deeper still

Leaves cover the ground

Over them we walk

And forget we ever saw them

We slowly pass above the fall-en

 

Chorus:

The sickness of validation

All across this sordid nation

Anxious feet near the reflecting flame

There are none who have been tamed

 

You say the way you feel is fine

You are what you are

The truth has brought to light

Just how lonely you are

The dead are walking

In this so-called harmony town

The ghosts of those who had pride

are pulling their own temples down

 

Chorus:

The sickness of validation

All across this sordid nation

Anxious feet near the reflecting flame

There are none who have been tamed

 

Bridge:

You stay on that side Beelzebub

And I’ll keep to myself

If moores are Scottish

And green is the irish claim

I will hold fast to what I know

It will keep me sane

Thoughtful Thursdays


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Photo Courtesy:  This flickr photostream

“I can’t really say 

why everybody wishes they were somewhere else

but in the end 

the only steps that matter

are the ones you take all by yourself.”

~the Weepies

–Somedays we’re self-conscious.  Some days we are other-conscious.  May we learn to be content in our skin and love the others in theirs as well.

–Many do I affect and others affect me as well.  May we all affect each other for good.

–I am no longer a kid, and my parents can no longer make decisions for my life.  May I make decisions that make both them and My Maker proud.

–There are daily pressures and concerns on my mind and shoulders.  May I be strong beneath the weight.

–Relationships and friendships are always difficult to keep tied and strong.  May I have the patience, wisdom and love to foster them so good things will grow.

–Love is sadly misunderstood.  It isn’t a warm feeling at all times, but a choice to put someone’s needs and feelings first.  May we all strive to love “in word and deed.”

~lme