Thistle Blues


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Photo Courtesy: The U.S. National Archives’ Photostream

Thistle blues… 

Verse 1.

The worldaround pretends to know

They tried to spoonfeed it

Down my throat

But I know lies

Are bitter weeds

The poisonsunk

Down to my feet

Not even those

Who seem like little lambs

are good as gold

you can’t seeshadows where they stand

but I’m so broke

because oflove

the holes don’t heal

just callus up

Chorus:

I know you had your reasons

Still I feltbetrayed

Even though you left the light

Where I made myself stay

If you wanted

the friendship that we had

I’d want a two way street

Promise something back

Verse 2.

You better be pretty

And look just like this

Or else you can’t make it

And you never will be his

But I know lies

Are anything but sweet

I don’t think I’ll listen

stomp them lies

beneath my feet

Bridge:

Stomp those lies

Way down down

Stomp those lies

Where they match the dirty ground

Stomp those lies

Beneath your feet

Stomp those lies

because

they don’t mean anything

~lme

Sacrificial Giving


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Photo courtesy of New South Wales Library

I’m not sure we (self included) really understand the concept of sacrifice.  It’s supposed to hurt us, pain us, cause us to ache.  So why don’t we feel that?  Probably because oftentimes we’ve never hurt for much in our lives or had really “consider the cost” when purchasing something or saving for material goods.

Sacrifice requires that we give up something very dear to us.  But often sacrifice, to me, has usually been whatever I felt I could give or what was comfortable to me.  But that is not how sacrifice works.  David said in the OT, “I won’t give to the Lord what costs me nothing.”  Are we that bold to speak such words of conviction?  Affection requires little, while love demands sacrifice.  Do I love God enough to say I trust Him? Think long and seriously before you answer that…. And when he says, I gave you a gift, and I want it back now (whatever capacity it be in), do I say no way or Your Will be done.  And sometimes it is like pulling teeth to get us out of ourselves to see the light of self-sacrifice.  My friends, what is required of you will be something you love so dearly that your tender, aching fingers are clenching it so tightly while you are begging God not to take it from you.  You may spend moments or nights in tears asking why, why He has taken what you loved?  The truest form of a trusting heart is one that is able to eventually say “take it Lord if you see fit.”  Have I gotten there?  Not yet.  Speaking to other musicians out there, it’s amazing how tightly we cling to something we want to define our being.  We’re selfish.  We’re whining babies.  And we want the glory all to ourselves.   This is a huge part of our walk with God- that we learn that it isn’t about us, the world doesn’t revolve around our wants and desires (contrary to popular American culture) and that love isn’t some fanciful, whimsical anthropology ad, facebook album or advertisement like we are spoonfed to believe.  True love doesn’t always look pristine.  It’s gritty.  It’s getting your hands in the dirty with others’ residue.  It’s sticking your neck out for someone.  It’s rubbing elbows with the less fortunate of society.  It’s being uncool to show kindness.  It’s sacrifice of self and more than you ever thought it would be when you agreed to follow Him years ago.

~lme

A mind with a view


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Jessie Woodrow- thanks to this organization 

After listening to some thoughts from people last week, I realized that our whole perspective on life is really twisted.  We, and I, live in fear of aging of dying and leaving this world, but it shouldn’t be this way.  We should see our lives as the portal into eternity.  What if I always viewed my life that way?  I might not get so upset at people or worry so much about trying to make my mark or prove myself to this slowly vanishing existence.   I struggle with looking forward to death.  How many of us do- in a positive way I mean? Realizing that ultimately if we’ve only been spent by and for ourselves, we’ve really not left much of a legacy here.

It’s like a funnel, this life.  It’s only siphoning us into a much larger world of eternal existence.  I can’t imagine what that’s like and frankly, it freaks me out sometimes and I have to stop thinking about it.  I think the unknown scares me.  I think sometimes I fear I’ll be bored forever.  But I heard an uplifting sermon recently that talked about how heaven will be eternal bliss.  That feeling of newness and excitement continually overpouring like a fountain.  Trusting God is something I have to work at.  I need to remind myself that he made me and knows me and wants good for me and knows exactly how to fulfill me.  I have to remember that the reasons I groan and ache here are because I am not at home with Him.  At times, I get too comfortable here- thus the problem with our poshy lifestyles.  It’s probably helpful to get out of that comfort zone more than we reside in it.

In conjunction with the end of your life is the perspective of the rest of your life.  It is interesting to realize what defines you when you start to strip earthly things away.  If you weren’t able to paint your body like a canvas with tattoos or the latest trend in the fashion industry or do your hair in a specific way or stand behind an instrument every night or shell out your fancy business cards, what would you look like?  Would your character speak volumes about who you are?  I am blessed to have several people who have reminded me of this recently.  These “about us” things really are just tangents to who we truly are.  Sometimes it’s easy to let our material goods and talents define us.  We’ve been taught to express ourselves since we were little.  And though I don’t deny that being unique and an individual is something God appreciates, maybe we tend to value people more or less for what they can DO and not who they ARE.  Inhabit who you are and the gifts you’ve been given, but also be willing to set them aside of you at times and say- that’s not who I am at the core- those are things that I do.  I think this is becoming more real to me as I have been shifting in my passionate pursuits and the desire to feverishly chase a dream has been melting a little from my heart.  Maybe it’s age or maybe I’m just tired.  But, strangely enough, I have had more opportunities to play music live than when I was touting my talents to the world and trying to figure out how to market myself and who to talk to in the music industry.  Funny how things begin to fall into place once you let go a little and just truly enjoy what you do and relinquish some control.

I don’t know where I’ll end up with music or writing or my career endeavors, but ultimately it doesn’t matter.  At the end of my life, what will matter is the way I’ve walked the journey through life.  It’s exciting to think big- to imagine yourself on an Olympic pedestal or playing music for those who truly love it or winning a Nobel prize.  But all of these things are just things that will collect dust and after the moment will cease to hold as much excitement as they once had.  Therefore, how you grow as an individual, the hard work that builds character, the way you treat others and the lives you influence all hold more weight than the actual attainment of the goal.  Remember that.  Tell me to remember that.  And let’s not let people, places or things define who we are.

~lme

Awaken Not Helena


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Photo credit: OSU commons, Herman and Maud 🙂

Humble abodes

Where the humble abide

Wild writhing garden

Filled with seedlings, free of pride

Sowing seeds of goodness

Dark the night gathers round

And storms are welling up

Beyond the iron gate, without a sound

Love is a word

Abbreviated

For sacrifice

Insatiated

Awaken not love

Until your season comes

Awaken not thy heart

Though you be the only one

Let love sleep

That is not meant for you

Awaken not thy heart

For one who is untrue

Opposites attract and they hope

to polish me

when I prefer

footloose and fancy free

something in the windy willows

whispers from a dream

to never tame myself

or settle

for one who prefers a cage

and I to sing

Awaken not love

Until your season comes

Awaken not thy heart

Though you be the only one

Awaken not a heartbeat

That is not meant for you

Patience in the pages

Til you discover what is true

Let them build their houses

And we will build a dream

Stronger than their mortar

Lacking love between the seams

I will watch them build bigger barns

And I know it’s not for me

Lighten our load

To set sail on open seas

Awaken not love

Until the season comes

Awaken not my heart

Though I remain the only one

I’ll bide my time

Til I belong

Wafting in and out

Carried off within a song

I’ll bide my precious time

to discover what is true

I’ll teach myself to wait, she said

Holding out for you.

Get somewhere


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Photo credit: Geodesic

How to get somewhere in life.  Not that I have it all figured out…

  1. Narrow your search.  Your mom was right.  You can be anything… but you can’t be everything.  Focus your energy.  Figure out what you’re good at and let that be some of the fire in your career endeavors.  I realized that as a bounced like a pinball from hobby to hobby and activity to activity, I was getting nowhere in my professional life.  Once I narrowed that and began to work more often in specific areas, I felt I was starting to see some positive results.  They don’t come overnight, but once you invest several years, you can look back and see that you have made some movement in the right direction.
  2. Let Confidence always be combined with humility.  These two characteristics sum up how our attitude should be in the music industry.  I don’t care whether you’re a performer or a manager or a promoter or a studio musician.  We must all learn how to combine this sense of confidence and boldness in our talents without the air that we are better than others or in some way higher.  Never be considered more of a taker than a giver.  If you only come to people when you need something without first developing a relationship with them, they can smell your false nature stench.  Don’t be that person.  Or do.. but know that it will get you fewer true friends, fans and collaborators.
  3. Don’t expect perfection.  Laugh when you are ridiculous and accept that you are imperfect.  Always try to work each day to be better, but also don’t let failure ruin you.  Because you’ll fail a lot.  Well, I mean, if you try anything.  But if you don’t, you’ll never fail.  You will also become disappointed in situations and people, so don’t let it become the end of the world when it happens.  Something I am trying to work on is to not let my emotions be driven by the situation in which I find myself.  I must learn to cultivate a core character that is able to withstand many different situations and trials, not letting others dictate my emotions.  Do I fail at this still?  Yep, so much.  But it’s one of my goals this year.  Two months in- and I can see some tiny progress.  Being aware is at least part of that battle of change.

So take a breath, center yourself, narrow your search, marry your confidence with humility and don’t expect perfection. Happy Monday.

lme

3 Undeniable Truths


  1. People will always surprise you.  They can warm your heart and make you realize you misjudged them at the onset.  They can also go the opposite way and make you realize you held the bar way too high.  Or a sorority girl will flip you off and bum you out bigtime. True story.
  2. You are limited by time and capacity.  Though I know many people who truly believe they can be super mom or the most amazing entrepreneur/small business owner, etc etc, the truth is that they cant.   No one can do everything effectively.  Try to do it all and you will inevitably fall short in some area of your life. We are limited.  There are only so many hours in the day, and therefore, you must choose wisely.  What is worth your time? Who is worth your time? How much time to you spend running for naught and for your own pointless pursuits?  What do you spend most of your time pondering?  That is what you are living for.  Scary isn’t it?
  3. It doesn’t take long to let a bad attitude fester into disease.  If you allow yourself to stew over wrongdoings toward you and words unfitly spoken, you begin to let it eat you like cancer.  Like I did with the mannerless (it’s not a word) sorority girl.  It’s easier to think the worst of others than to have love and strive to hope for the best in any circumstance.   Learning to love people is something that will take a lifetime of work- to not let my initial reaction be the one that I ultimately let prevail.  Often what comes naturally is not the best route.  So you have to train your body to do what you say it will do.

~lme

Put your heart into it… or better yet, put it elsewhere.


Photo Credit and rights: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mararie/

This phrase is heard often in our post-modern culture.  “Seize the day- and put your heart into it!” What, praytell, is “it?”  Well, “it” can be anything we want to fill that absence within ourselves- religion, sports, music, academia, philosophy, writing, etc etc.

But I’m going to pose a new way of thinking about our tangible pursuits down here.  What if we don’t put our hearts and all of our focus into so many various parts of our life.  What if we do live a litte “air-hearded” in the sense of all of our everyday affairs, choosing rather to meditate on the spiritual concepts floating above our heads?

Put my heart into music?  No, then i’ll just be anxious and bummed when recognition often escapes me or when I see others who are farther in their successful careers than I am.

Put my whole heart into the stock of what others think, say or my actual relationships?  No, people will disappoint and I’ll spend my time vacillating with each relationship and worrying about how I’m inadequate or how much they’ve hurt or disappointed me or my ego.

Put my heart into creating such a comfortable nest I’ve created here that when it comes my time to fly this coop, I think, oh, but I love my life and stuff here. I’ve invested  so much of my heart and energy into this place.  So, then maybe it behooves us to put our energy and work ethic into what we do, but not our total hearts into what we do.  What do I mean?  Well, maybe our clutch should not be as tight as it is to our image, our talents, our loves (leah speaks to self).  What if we’re called to sacrifice whatever it is?  What if what we thought was our greatest contribution to the world is later revealed as merely a stepping stone to a greater plan set forth for us while we were yet being formed.

We should guard our hearts and, as Rudyard Kipling says, “If all men count with you, but none too much,” we must somehow learn to separate the situations in which we find ourselves and our emotions.  They must not be what drives us- rather, there should be something of far stronger weight acting as our anchor.  If heart is where your treasure is (Matthew 6:21), then where is this anchor?  Investing my heart elsewhere will lead me to less attachment and disappointment in the mere here and now.  Putting my faith and trust in a God who is vastly more powerful than myself will help my perspective be more fixated on better things.  I wont’t get as anxious or worried over politics, broken relationships, stressful moments in the hustle bustle and angry over what I feel I deserve or am owed.  This is part of the strangeness of life.  We see what others have and we want it too.  But sadly, those who have everything we long for often aren’t the people we’d really want to be if we were honest with ourselves.  Do I get giddy over talented musicians?  Why yes, yes I do.  Do I want their often dark and depressing vh1 behind the scenes life or their broken marriages or their exhaustion or addiction to pleasure?  I’ll be honest- aspects of the music lifestyle are incredibly tempting to me.  But then I think deep down, there is a part of me that knows there is so much emptiness in it as well.  I’ve experienced it- the heartache, the sadness, the decision by those I love to leave all for the music at the expense of themselves and others.  And about this whole getting famous bit?  I don’t think it’s that hard to do.  When you’re willing to sacrifice everything- family, friends, dignity, money- for music, you’ll make it out there.  But is that really who I want to be….. someone who has spent their whole life in devotion to self?

I must let my love and pursuit of God and good things be what seeps into every facet of my life will make everything else just compartments.  Instead of giving God his little box, why not view our lives as many boxes and all of them are floating in the same sea of God.  They all become submerged and eventually sink into His greatness.

~lme

Ado or Die


Within ourselves, it’s all we can take

And I can’t take anymore

I came across your secrets

loosely scattered on the floor

How I happen on the broken

It comes my way so much

From what I want to turn away

Commands of me so much

Self and love were fated enemies

Just a village built unsound

Want gives way to more want

It’s what I want this time around

And it’s not that I am blinded

While the lifeboat’s at my side

It’s merely laziness I harbor

When it’s truly do. or. die.

~lme

Tidbits of thought from the wonderful world of music


I appreciate comments people have made regarding my recent posts on reconciling faith and the creative industries.  So, on this note, I wanted to share the little tidbits of knowledge I have regarding the music business, the pursuit of making music your career and striving for the higher things in life.  Something to consider is the term ROI- return on investment.  What is it truly doing for you in business?

4 points to ponder in this world of music:  

Community art in Chattanooga

1. Open mics are good only if you don’t use them as an end goal.  Should you be willing to try your stuff out on new audiences? Yes, of course.  If you want to work on trying to hone your and calm your nerves in performance, can it be helpful. Yes!  And it can also be great for meeting and gaining prospective contacts, booking people, band members and various talented people in the field with whom you should become acqainted.  But here is where I begin to caution you.  These “shows” should never be used as a landing pad.  They should merely be launching pads to bigger and better things.

It would behoove a musician who “eagerly desires to make music a career path” to not play open mics 3 nights a week (even once a week might be a little too much, do you really write that much “new” material every week to test on new audiences?).    My dad taught me an invaluable lesson this past week.  If you want people to see what you do as having value, then you should be willing to put a price on it.  I agree.  I want people to take art seriously.  For that to occur, I MUST TAKE ART SERIOUSLY, showing that it is a valid and necessary career choice.  And here’s a side tip, maybe we should start telling people “Oh my real job is blah blah blah and I play music on the side.”  Do you want to eventually make music your “real job?”  Then treat it with a little respect.

I recently helped an artist friend get paid for her work designing for a band in town.  Why?  Because I believe very strongly that artists are not just some creative children roaming the streets.  They are people who work desperately hard at what they do and deserve to be treated with respect (if they are fueling the same respect toward others in their industry and communities of course).

2.  Work toward finding creative ways to generate revenue.  I won’t go into a dissertation on how the music industry is a-changin’, and how record labels are going out of business.  We know this, but what are we going to DO with this knowledge?  Clearly you won’t pay your rent  or even pay for upkeep on your instruments if you play 3 nights a week for free, waiting for your “big break!”  Isn’t it ridiculous that we musicians have been taught to think this way.  I myself have thought if I could only meet the right person or get Jack White to notice my music (which will happen because I have a brilliant plan to hatch) or whatnot, then I’d be set.  Something quick and easy is all part of the American Dream baby.  If it’s hard or requires days of creative brainstorming and years of having your nose, mind, blood, sweat and tears to the grindstone, we tend to walk away.  Without sheer determination and innovation, though, we’d be sitting in dark homes without planes and trains and definitely with no blogs to read on laptops.  I encourage you to take heart commit to never. giving. up. (Leah speaks to herself here).

3.  Don’t spend copious amounts of time striving to please specific people in the music industry whether they wear the title of booking agent, venue owner, producer, or musicians who look at you blankly when you share your vision.  If you have to dig a mole out of a hole and practically die in front of someone to attract their attention, maybe the return on that investment won’t be as great as you’d imagined.  Let’s not forget the importance of growing an organic community of tribe.  Do you sit at home and hope for a music career?  No, but neither should you run yourself into the ground trying to prove to others and yourself that you belong in this creative realm.

Sit down, my friend.  Look inside and realize that if you are truly what you profess, then nothing can diminish your role as an artist or whatever in both a small and larger community.  Whether you sing to the trees in the forest or on a stage at Bonnaroo, you are still the same artist.  Don’t let recognition become your destination.  Rather, let it be something you accumulate in the form of blessings along your path.

4.  Be confident in your music, branding and the story of your product.  I truly am speaking to myself on this one.  I listen to so much music that sometimes it’s hard to not compare myself to others.  But I think that it is important to somewhat take a step back, say you can always improve on and hone your talents and then be confident that what you are creating is needed somewhere in the fabric of society.  This isn’t easy, but by creating anything original, you’ll begin to develop your own voice in your corner of the market.  People will then recognize that voice and eventually, people will come to want to hear that voice again and again.

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The river flows and on it goes


It is never easy to “go confidently in the direction of your dreams.”  But when you’re given encouragement along the way, it can take any hardship you’ve experienced thus far right out of your mind.  I was definitely on some musical highs the past few days.

This weekend held various blessings for me.  I had the privilege of being part of an old-time jam session at the Old Time Pickin’ Parlor down in Marathon Village.  I love this place.  The store, the vibe, everything just seems so good and enjoyable.  I felt like I can look back someday and possibly say here’s where it began.  I was meeting a banjo player, Brandon, on Saturday at said store.  From videos he had sent, I could tell he was quite talented.  We were able to jam together and with some new-found friends around the coffee table decorated with cigar-box guitars.  I also had invited a fiddler to come out, and he (Travis) joined our party as well.  It was exciting to hear encouraging words and also to be approached by the booking guy from Antique Archeology next door.  Gigs here we come 🙂

On Sunday evening, I met with a talented gal from MTSU who currently co-writes with various people around town, and she herself writes and plays guitar and piano.  Her style could be described in a Delta/ Civil Wars-esque vein.  I think our sounds and styles will work amazingly well together, so here’s to a future of collaboration.  It will be a whole new experience to actually work on harmonies with another gal!

Something I’ve learned in my short time on earth in regards to anything- music, pursuing passion, relationships- is that timing is everything.  Sometimes we’re taught to be patient while sometimes we get a green light blessing.  I’m not the holder of the future, but from where I’m sitting, it looks like some good opportunities are farther down the line.  And for that, I am excited and hopeful.  I also know I’m up against a lot.  The continual questions- how will you make money?  How will you uphold your faith?  How will you not let it eat your soul?  I don’t have specific answers to all this other than surrounding myself with positive influences, wise mentors, people who care about the eternal and making myself keep the right mindset when it comes to success or failure.

I’ll leave you with a picture from the fabulous Band of Heathens show at the Frist friday night.