Ash and Snow


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photo credit: Denni

Dark approaches the night

Darker more so than hell

And dark were their hearts

Upon which ignorance fell

For the city was wealthy

A City so wise

Raining accolades, success

Slowly clouding their eyes

Dancing and revelry

Thrived in the streets

While the one on the throne

The devilish beast

The beauty danced to the industry’s

beat

Uppers and downers

Roamers round-towners

Shame is a word

But a thing of the past

The rouge on their cheeks

Provided the only blushing

On their face that is cast

The ones true and just

Crying out

Loud as they can above lust

Tendrils of smoke

Clouding out from the beast

And the flames

that will claim them

Which begin at their feet

The others outside

Their upturned hands bearing x’s

Eternal bondage

The price

To be god for a moment

To pursue vaporous lust

With claws scratching forward

In gods they must trust.

~inspired by Revelation

lme

Get somewhere


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Photo credit: Geodesic

How to get somewhere in life.  Not that I have it all figured out…

  1. Narrow your search.  Your mom was right.  You can be anything… but you can’t be everything.  Focus your energy.  Figure out what you’re good at and let that be some of the fire in your career endeavors.  I realized that as a bounced like a pinball from hobby to hobby and activity to activity, I was getting nowhere in my professional life.  Once I narrowed that and began to work more often in specific areas, I felt I was starting to see some positive results.  They don’t come overnight, but once you invest several years, you can look back and see that you have made some movement in the right direction.
  2. Let Confidence always be combined with humility.  These two characteristics sum up how our attitude should be in the music industry.  I don’t care whether you’re a performer or a manager or a promoter or a studio musician.  We must all learn how to combine this sense of confidence and boldness in our talents without the air that we are better than others or in some way higher.  Never be considered more of a taker than a giver.  If you only come to people when you need something without first developing a relationship with them, they can smell your false nature stench.  Don’t be that person.  Or do.. but know that it will get you fewer true friends, fans and collaborators.
  3. Don’t expect perfection.  Laugh when you are ridiculous and accept that you are imperfect.  Always try to work each day to be better, but also don’t let failure ruin you.  Because you’ll fail a lot.  Well, I mean, if you try anything.  But if you don’t, you’ll never fail.  You will also become disappointed in situations and people, so don’t let it become the end of the world when it happens.  Something I am trying to work on is to not let my emotions be driven by the situation in which I find myself.  I must learn to cultivate a core character that is able to withstand many different situations and trials, not letting others dictate my emotions.  Do I fail at this still?  Yep, so much.  But it’s one of my goals this year.  Two months in- and I can see some tiny progress.  Being aware is at least part of that battle of change.

So take a breath, center yourself, narrow your search, marry your confidence with humility and don’t expect perfection. Happy Monday.

lme

Day-break-dreaming


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Photo Credits:  Mark

Springtime breezes

Only imagined felt

All my imperfections

Lined up neatly on the shelf

Swinging on the front porch

Of a painted cottage

Small

Home to jack-a-lanterns

In October fall

~~~

Envelop me in daybreak

With promises unbroken

And before the others

Expect of me

And I can dwell

In a world

Inhabited only by me

~~~

Daffodils dance the pathway

And oak trees protect us

Standing stately

Like soldiers on the street

And as oft the ones with tough exterior

are tender flesh beneath

they seem unafraid

To wave their timid leaves

~~~

Love may be fierce

Or take another form

Like rushing water

Or trickling after the winter’s snow storm

Calm breathing

Like an easterly breeze

on a sprightly, slowly wakening

anticipated springtime morn.

~~~lme

3 Undeniable Truths


  1. People will always surprise you.  They can warm your heart and make you realize you misjudged them at the onset.  They can also go the opposite way and make you realize you held the bar way too high.  Or a sorority girl will flip you off and bum you out bigtime. True story.
  2. You are limited by time and capacity.  Though I know many people who truly believe they can be super mom or the most amazing entrepreneur/small business owner, etc etc, the truth is that they cant.   No one can do everything effectively.  Try to do it all and you will inevitably fall short in some area of your life. We are limited.  There are only so many hours in the day, and therefore, you must choose wisely.  What is worth your time? Who is worth your time? How much time to you spend running for naught and for your own pointless pursuits?  What do you spend most of your time pondering?  That is what you are living for.  Scary isn’t it?
  3. It doesn’t take long to let a bad attitude fester into disease.  If you allow yourself to stew over wrongdoings toward you and words unfitly spoken, you begin to let it eat you like cancer.  Like I did with the mannerless (it’s not a word) sorority girl.  It’s easier to think the worst of others than to have love and strive to hope for the best in any circumstance.   Learning to love people is something that will take a lifetime of work- to not let my initial reaction be the one that I ultimately let prevail.  Often what comes naturally is not the best route.  So you have to train your body to do what you say it will do.

~lme

Waxing poetic


Temporis Momentum

Calico and dandelions blowing in the wind

Whispered to the world what once had been

Love rests

Love rests

In her chest

In her chest

Denim shirts and coveralls

Atop the mountain in the fall

Love found

Love found

Unspoken sound

Unspoken sound

Morning lullabies

Winter flurry, firewood and moonlight

Love came

Love came

Close and tame

Close and tame

Using hands to gather in the field

Holding them under the table he had built

Love kind

Love kind

She would never again find

She would never find

Afternoon in October crisp

Sudden bite of apple kiss

Life slips

Life stops

On a western mountaintop

On a western mountaintop

Bandanna warm, soaked in blood

Praying for the grace of God

Love’s solitude

Love’s solitude

Choking cries into the woods

Fruitless cries into the woods

Last words lying on her lap

As his fevered head and eyes slipped back

Love lost

Love lost

Bitter cost

Bitter cost

Now she digs the grave, stark and lone

Heralding the way home

Love went

Love went

Back to where it had been

Back to where it had been

Willow weeping yet again

Branches write his name on them

Widow’s love

Widow’s love

Wanders where there is no sun

Wanders where there is no sun

Calico and dandelions blowing in the wind

Chant the tale of what once had been

Love rests

Love rests

In an anchor

Attached to her chest.

Home: Not quite where the heart should be


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Photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/anguskirk/

Some reasons I don’t think I’d like to spend my money on large homes, fancy cars or copious material goods… Unless of course I have the opportunity to live in an Irish castle someday.

  1. I don’t want to spend all my time and efforts creating an environment I never want to leave.  I love to see, go and travel too much to invest so much in the four walls where I could merely sleep and eat.
  2. I don’t want to invest copious amounts of money into something that will only feel big and empty and where recesses are there not touched by light, laughter and music.  And should I need room to breathe, I should not look to a larger cage, but a natural expanse of space. Should I desire to fulfill my senses, I can take to the mountains, the forests, the waterfalls.
  3. Investing in large homes, fancy cars and diamond rings sometimes gives one a false sense of security.  Feeling safe in a world of man-made objects should never be the goal.  Rather, one must test ones comfort zone.  You must allow the world outside your door to become not a puddle you dip your toe in but rather an ocean in which you plunge into with reckless abandonment.
  4. Having a modest home will remind me of who I am and where I am bound.  To have the things we need, with these we shall be content.  But to be rich in travel, experiences that take our breaths away, people who change us for good, learning to give of what we’ve been given and hope of a future, with these my life will be abundantly full and blessed.

truly thoughtful Tuesday- have one 🙂

lme

Put your heart into it… or better yet, put it elsewhere.


Photo Credit and rights: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mararie/

This phrase is heard often in our post-modern culture.  “Seize the day- and put your heart into it!” What, praytell, is “it?”  Well, “it” can be anything we want to fill that absence within ourselves- religion, sports, music, academia, philosophy, writing, etc etc.

But I’m going to pose a new way of thinking about our tangible pursuits down here.  What if we don’t put our hearts and all of our focus into so many various parts of our life.  What if we do live a litte “air-hearded” in the sense of all of our everyday affairs, choosing rather to meditate on the spiritual concepts floating above our heads?

Put my heart into music?  No, then i’ll just be anxious and bummed when recognition often escapes me or when I see others who are farther in their successful careers than I am.

Put my whole heart into the stock of what others think, say or my actual relationships?  No, people will disappoint and I’ll spend my time vacillating with each relationship and worrying about how I’m inadequate or how much they’ve hurt or disappointed me or my ego.

Put my heart into creating such a comfortable nest I’ve created here that when it comes my time to fly this coop, I think, oh, but I love my life and stuff here. I’ve invested  so much of my heart and energy into this place.  So, then maybe it behooves us to put our energy and work ethic into what we do, but not our total hearts into what we do.  What do I mean?  Well, maybe our clutch should not be as tight as it is to our image, our talents, our loves (leah speaks to self).  What if we’re called to sacrifice whatever it is?  What if what we thought was our greatest contribution to the world is later revealed as merely a stepping stone to a greater plan set forth for us while we were yet being formed.

We should guard our hearts and, as Rudyard Kipling says, “If all men count with you, but none too much,” we must somehow learn to separate the situations in which we find ourselves and our emotions.  They must not be what drives us- rather, there should be something of far stronger weight acting as our anchor.  If heart is where your treasure is (Matthew 6:21), then where is this anchor?  Investing my heart elsewhere will lead me to less attachment and disappointment in the mere here and now.  Putting my faith and trust in a God who is vastly more powerful than myself will help my perspective be more fixated on better things.  I wont’t get as anxious or worried over politics, broken relationships, stressful moments in the hustle bustle and angry over what I feel I deserve or am owed.  This is part of the strangeness of life.  We see what others have and we want it too.  But sadly, those who have everything we long for often aren’t the people we’d really want to be if we were honest with ourselves.  Do I get giddy over talented musicians?  Why yes, yes I do.  Do I want their often dark and depressing vh1 behind the scenes life or their broken marriages or their exhaustion or addiction to pleasure?  I’ll be honest- aspects of the music lifestyle are incredibly tempting to me.  But then I think deep down, there is a part of me that knows there is so much emptiness in it as well.  I’ve experienced it- the heartache, the sadness, the decision by those I love to leave all for the music at the expense of themselves and others.  And about this whole getting famous bit?  I don’t think it’s that hard to do.  When you’re willing to sacrifice everything- family, friends, dignity, money- for music, you’ll make it out there.  But is that really who I want to be….. someone who has spent their whole life in devotion to self?

I must let my love and pursuit of God and good things be what seeps into every facet of my life will make everything else just compartments.  Instead of giving God his little box, why not view our lives as many boxes and all of them are floating in the same sea of God.  They all become submerged and eventually sink into His greatness.

~lme

“People who feel nothing, DO nothing.”


The heart-shaped hash browns a lad from bongo made just for me 🙂

I read this recently right here.  He’s right.  You absolutely HAVE to latch onto something “too.” Too edgy, too different, too creative, too friendly.  If we are not too something, we are not putting enough of ourselves into it.  If we don’t invoke feelings in other people that compel them to act, perhaps we aren’t really standing for anything.

Ask my brother and sister- I’m highly impassioned and moved by experience, emotion and relationship.  It’s in my DNA- maybe from both sides. Here are some things that I feel passionately about and move me in my musical pursuits.

~~Being a pioneer can be a lonely and uphill way at times.  Don’t TELL me I can’t do it and don’t tell me that since it’s never been done, I should sit down and shut up.  Because I won’t.  I believe there are other good-seeking truth followers who wholeheartedly adore music and yet they do NOT want to spend their evenings playing places where they feel they must compromise who they are and what they stand for.  If you’re out there, I want to meet you and shake your hand.  And I want you in my network, because I appreciate you.  I want to stand by my faith as well as stand with my music in hand and say- here are my talents and here is what I did with them.  “Tis the gift to be simple, tis the gift to be free.” Lest we forget- the guy who buried his talent was scolded.

~~Why is it that people can’t get paid for their gifts they have spent valuable time honing?  There have to be innovative ways to generate revenue in the music industry.  It can’t be that I’ll finally make a living at my craft after I’m playing arenas and huge venues all around the world.  Music industry crew- let’s stop being so narrowminded.  Let’s stop listening to people that tell us there is one model of success and it’s name is Ke$ha or Beyonce.  To follow that path is to be lazy. It’s already been done.  So get to the books, the blogs, the influencers in your community, the events and start brainstorming.

~~I want to change the way people see art and music as a career.  Because they are careers.  So if you’re reading this and shaking your head, then do us both a favor and stop reading.  My blog may not be for you, because you won’t like what I have to say. God is Creator.  And he put that into us as lights in this world, which is one of the coolest things in which we see Him down here. I long for respect for spiritually minded people who pour their heart and soul into creating art, music, video, etc.  And if you don’t believe that it is a valid and respectable career choice, then I want you to chunk your ipod and burn all your concert tickets and take all your books to goodwill, because that is what you are basically saying when you think such thoughts.  To artists- If we don’t start treating ourselves with respect, others won’t as well.  So buck up, hold your heart and head high and walk this path with me friend.

~~People always warn of the spiritual dangers in the creative fields- and rightfully so.  But consider this- Wandering from God isn’t merely constricted to those in the creative industries- the pull to go with the flow and follow the Liar is seen in all career choices.  But people rarely shake their heads in sympathy when someone’s future husband has high hopes of being a doctor or lawyer.  Do they warn them like they’ve warned me?  They should.  Yes, “pursuance” can transform into “idol.”  Yes, this can happen to all of us.  Let’s just be fair across the board is what I ask.  Though we be farmers, doctors, lawyers, musicians or teachers, we all have the ability to put something higher on the todem pole than God Himself.

What drives you in your creative endeavors?  How have you worked toward marrying your faith and your talents?  Feel free to let me know in the comment space below.

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Tidbits of thought from the wonderful world of music


I appreciate comments people have made regarding my recent posts on reconciling faith and the creative industries.  So, on this note, I wanted to share the little tidbits of knowledge I have regarding the music business, the pursuit of making music your career and striving for the higher things in life.  Something to consider is the term ROI- return on investment.  What is it truly doing for you in business?

4 points to ponder in this world of music:  

Community art in Chattanooga

1. Open mics are good only if you don’t use them as an end goal.  Should you be willing to try your stuff out on new audiences? Yes, of course.  If you want to work on trying to hone your and calm your nerves in performance, can it be helpful. Yes!  And it can also be great for meeting and gaining prospective contacts, booking people, band members and various talented people in the field with whom you should become acqainted.  But here is where I begin to caution you.  These “shows” should never be used as a landing pad.  They should merely be launching pads to bigger and better things.

It would behoove a musician who “eagerly desires to make music a career path” to not play open mics 3 nights a week (even once a week might be a little too much, do you really write that much “new” material every week to test on new audiences?).    My dad taught me an invaluable lesson this past week.  If you want people to see what you do as having value, then you should be willing to put a price on it.  I agree.  I want people to take art seriously.  For that to occur, I MUST TAKE ART SERIOUSLY, showing that it is a valid and necessary career choice.  And here’s a side tip, maybe we should start telling people “Oh my real job is blah blah blah and I play music on the side.”  Do you want to eventually make music your “real job?”  Then treat it with a little respect.

I recently helped an artist friend get paid for her work designing for a band in town.  Why?  Because I believe very strongly that artists are not just some creative children roaming the streets.  They are people who work desperately hard at what they do and deserve to be treated with respect (if they are fueling the same respect toward others in their industry and communities of course).

2.  Work toward finding creative ways to generate revenue.  I won’t go into a dissertation on how the music industry is a-changin’, and how record labels are going out of business.  We know this, but what are we going to DO with this knowledge?  Clearly you won’t pay your rent  or even pay for upkeep on your instruments if you play 3 nights a week for free, waiting for your “big break!”  Isn’t it ridiculous that we musicians have been taught to think this way.  I myself have thought if I could only meet the right person or get Jack White to notice my music (which will happen because I have a brilliant plan to hatch) or whatnot, then I’d be set.  Something quick and easy is all part of the American Dream baby.  If it’s hard or requires days of creative brainstorming and years of having your nose, mind, blood, sweat and tears to the grindstone, we tend to walk away.  Without sheer determination and innovation, though, we’d be sitting in dark homes without planes and trains and definitely with no blogs to read on laptops.  I encourage you to take heart commit to never. giving. up. (Leah speaks to herself here).

3.  Don’t spend copious amounts of time striving to please specific people in the music industry whether they wear the title of booking agent, venue owner, producer, or musicians who look at you blankly when you share your vision.  If you have to dig a mole out of a hole and practically die in front of someone to attract their attention, maybe the return on that investment won’t be as great as you’d imagined.  Let’s not forget the importance of growing an organic community of tribe.  Do you sit at home and hope for a music career?  No, but neither should you run yourself into the ground trying to prove to others and yourself that you belong in this creative realm.

Sit down, my friend.  Look inside and realize that if you are truly what you profess, then nothing can diminish your role as an artist or whatever in both a small and larger community.  Whether you sing to the trees in the forest or on a stage at Bonnaroo, you are still the same artist.  Don’t let recognition become your destination.  Rather, let it be something you accumulate in the form of blessings along your path.

4.  Be confident in your music, branding and the story of your product.  I truly am speaking to myself on this one.  I listen to so much music that sometimes it’s hard to not compare myself to others.  But I think that it is important to somewhat take a step back, say you can always improve on and hone your talents and then be confident that what you are creating is needed somewhere in the fabric of society.  This isn’t easy, but by creating anything original, you’ll begin to develop your own voice in your corner of the market.  People will then recognize that voice and eventually, people will come to want to hear that voice again and again.

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The river flows and on it goes


It is never easy to “go confidently in the direction of your dreams.”  But when you’re given encouragement along the way, it can take any hardship you’ve experienced thus far right out of your mind.  I was definitely on some musical highs the past few days.

This weekend held various blessings for me.  I had the privilege of being part of an old-time jam session at the Old Time Pickin’ Parlor down in Marathon Village.  I love this place.  The store, the vibe, everything just seems so good and enjoyable.  I felt like I can look back someday and possibly say here’s where it began.  I was meeting a banjo player, Brandon, on Saturday at said store.  From videos he had sent, I could tell he was quite talented.  We were able to jam together and with some new-found friends around the coffee table decorated with cigar-box guitars.  I also had invited a fiddler to come out, and he (Travis) joined our party as well.  It was exciting to hear encouraging words and also to be approached by the booking guy from Antique Archeology next door.  Gigs here we come 🙂

On Sunday evening, I met with a talented gal from MTSU who currently co-writes with various people around town, and she herself writes and plays guitar and piano.  Her style could be described in a Delta/ Civil Wars-esque vein.  I think our sounds and styles will work amazingly well together, so here’s to a future of collaboration.  It will be a whole new experience to actually work on harmonies with another gal!

Something I’ve learned in my short time on earth in regards to anything- music, pursuing passion, relationships- is that timing is everything.  Sometimes we’re taught to be patient while sometimes we get a green light blessing.  I’m not the holder of the future, but from where I’m sitting, it looks like some good opportunities are farther down the line.  And for that, I am excited and hopeful.  I also know I’m up against a lot.  The continual questions- how will you make money?  How will you uphold your faith?  How will you not let it eat your soul?  I don’t have specific answers to all this other than surrounding myself with positive influences, wise mentors, people who care about the eternal and making myself keep the right mindset when it comes to success or failure.

I’ll leave you with a picture from the fabulous Band of Heathens show at the Frist friday night.