Tag Archives: Christian living

The tough questions

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Photo credit:  OSU Special Collection and Archives

If winning isn’t everything, then why is the loser not congratulated?

If you can’t have your cake and eat it too, then how come some people are both attractive and smart?

If strong character is to be well-respected, then why are people with sturdy internal fortitude usually seen as extremists?

If love is all you need, then how come those who claim to love are still broken?

If we got here by a big bang, how come the people who study creativity seem to disbelieve in a creative genius behind this beautiful painting of life?

If women are so liberated, then how come I’m not sitting at home playing my piano, hosting parties and reading in the garden?

If beauty is only skin deep, then some of us will forever be destined as repulsive.

If creativity is not a career choice, then how come people still want to hear music while they work, visit art galleries at night and be inspired by beautiful things?

If it’s an ideal set in motion, can it become the real?

If dreamers are crazy, then how do we have light bulbs, airplanes and Mac computers?

Governed by pleasure

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vassar party

Photo Courtesy of The Flickr Commons of the Library of Virginia

Humanity loves pleasure.  It is innate in our being.  But at some point along our history as a culture- in America especially- we have become seekers of pleasure.  This is a terrible problem.  We are feverishly running toward something to numb us from pain.  We want to fill our lives and our schedules with things that make US happy.  We constantly think about the fun we will have at this and that or try to fill every evening with some enjoyable activity.  How often to we think “today, how may I serve the world?”  “how might I use a talent I have to bring someone to God or to make the world a better place?”

Pleasure seekers are sadly slaves to their own negative spirits.  They feel a need for something and strive to fill it with busy-ess and parties and people and drinking and gluttony.  They live for the weekend, because nothing good can come from working during the day.  The pleasure seekers push out anything that is uncomfortable or that may cause them to grow and learn in the process.

Letting pleasure drive us will ultimately undo us.  If all we ever do is follow what makes us happy, we will be led down various paths and follow various characters who look interesting at the time.  But with no focus and no direction toward developing a gift or reaching an ultimate goal will only lead us to chase ourselves and desires.

So I challenge you to sit outside yourself and look objectively at your heart.  Do you desire pleasure constantly?  Are you afraid of hurting or experiencing real emotions?  Do you constantly fill yourself with yourself?  Is the whole of your mental capacity existing of thoughts about what you would like to do and how you will get farther in your pursuits?  If it is, then it might be time to seriously evaluate your direction in life.  If you aren’t directed in a spiritual way, the realization that you can’t take it with you may eventually completely unravel you.

~lme

A Tale of the Moon

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Photo Courtesy of Nasa on the Commons

The earth does not rotate round the moon.  The moon dances around the Earth.  Because the moon knows her role.  Her place, her perfect suiting in time.  And she begins to understand true contentment.  She does not strive to be Jupiter or Pluto or even the Sun.  She allows the Sun to be itself and therefore the moon can revel in her illustrious moon-ness.  The moon doesn’t hop around to pluto’s moons to try them out nor does she decide to be for a time with Jupiter’s moons.  For should she do that, she would realize that all the insecurities she experiences or the difficulty of rotation is not so much different in their force fields as in her own.  She has seen the astroids who merely float around with no direction and decides that she will revel in who she is as the moon of the planet Earth.  She feels needed by the beings on Earth as they adore gazing up at her light each and every night.  She knows she produces the tides and other things that are needful in their own right.  She knows that no one else can fulfill the role which she has been given in the Heavens.  And because she knows who she is and is appreciated for who she is, she becomes truly blessed and contented.

~lme

What Fear can Teach Us

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Photo courtesy of : U.S. National Archives

Today, I listened to a Ted Talk by Karen Thompson Walker where she discussed the unconventional topic that our fears are shaped like stories.  She talks about how certain people have overactive imaginations… but what does this teach us about similarities between fear and the construct of story?

Our fears and our stories have similar construction.  They have characters, suspense and visuals.  In our fears, the main character is usually ourselves.  Our fears focus on question- what will happen next?  It’s just sometimes in an extreme way.  A story also involves some relation to time.  Humans are the only animals that do this- we project ourselves forward in time.  So when we fear something, we are usually moving into a forward moment.  Fears also show us how one specific event can effect all other events as in a complex narrative.

We should think of ourselves as the authors of our stories- but we should read our fears as well.  She also discusses the idea of productive paranoia.  This is when people who might fear something are actually able to translate that fear into action.  And sometimes our fears can even predict the future.

She also talks about what makes a good reader.  A good reader is both artistic and passionate, getting caught up in the story, but also possesses a coolness of judgment like a scientist.  We must have this ability to be overcome with emotion but have a sense of discernment about our minds.

I had never really thought about this concept that fears are like stories.  They are always circling and interwoven within some frightening story with many or few characters in our minds.  The story then can also be unraveled and changed in its course of direction then.  This can help us when we begin to get sucked into the undertow and succumb to our fears.

To hear the talk in its entirety, check it out here: http://www.ted.com/talks/karen_thompson_walker_what_fear_can_teach_us.html

Have a great tuesday 🙂

~lme

Karen Thompson Walker

Elsewhere Seeker

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Photo courtesy of The Library of Congress flickr page

I am an Elsewhere seeker

I’ve nearly always been that way

contentment don’t come easy

even when I’ve lived good days

But maybe I keep looking

because Earth wasn’t meant to hold me

so the elsewhere that I’m seeking

is a place I’ve yet to see

~lme

keep your sights set higher than what you can merely see.  Go out. do good.

Into the studio we go!

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queenslander

Photo Courtesy:  State Library of Queensland

Tomorrow is the first day of tracking for the EP with Michael Estok and his adorable wife.  We’ll record in his renovated East Nashville basement to create something really natural and cool for all you great people who so kindly support me.  Thank you for what you are doing to encourage me.

And I’ve been thinking about what will come after the completion of this project, after an EP release party with an enchanting location, and after I have a product in hand?  My challenge will be to figure out an unconventional way of touring and performing in venues I love around the country.  An even bigger challenge will be to creatively generate revenue and build a group of people I can inspire and connect with on a continual basis.  I would appreciate any prayers from anyone regarding wisdom in decision-making.

But, I want you to be a part of what I’m doing, because honestly, we cannot really do anything in our lives alone.  We all need each other.  I would love to hear your very own ideas, advice on any of your recording experiences, what you would like out of an EP and if there things that you would be interested in merch-wise?  Music is for me, but it’s meant to be shared!

Stay tuned for new music and future show dates 🙂  And keep doing good things and looking up 🙂

~lme

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Thistle Blues

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Photo Courtesy: The U.S. National Archives’ Photostream

Thistle blues… 

Verse 1.

The worldaround pretends to know

They tried to spoonfeed it

Down my throat

But I know lies

Are bitter weeds

The poisonsunk

Down to my feet

Not even those

Who seem like little lambs

are good as gold

you can’t seeshadows where they stand

but I’m so broke

because oflove

the holes don’t heal

just callus up

Chorus:

I know you had your reasons

Still I feltbetrayed

Even though you left the light

Where I made myself stay

If you wanted

the friendship that we had

I’d want a two way street

Promise something back

Verse 2.

You better be pretty

And look just like this

Or else you can’t make it

And you never will be his

But I know lies

Are anything but sweet

I don’t think I’ll listen

stomp them lies

beneath my feet

Bridge:

Stomp those lies

Way down down

Stomp those lies

Where they match the dirty ground

Stomp those lies

Beneath your feet

Stomp those lies

because

they don’t mean anything

~lme

Sacrificial Giving

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Photo courtesy of New South Wales Library

I’m not sure we (self included) really understand the concept of sacrifice.  It’s supposed to hurt us, pain us, cause us to ache.  So why don’t we feel that?  Probably because oftentimes we’ve never hurt for much in our lives or had really “consider the cost” when purchasing something or saving for material goods.

Sacrifice requires that we give up something very dear to us.  But often sacrifice, to me, has usually been whatever I felt I could give or what was comfortable to me.  But that is not how sacrifice works.  David said in the OT, “I won’t give to the Lord what costs me nothing.”  Are we that bold to speak such words of conviction?  Affection requires little, while love demands sacrifice.  Do I love God enough to say I trust Him? Think long and seriously before you answer that…. And when he says, I gave you a gift, and I want it back now (whatever capacity it be in), do I say no way or Your Will be done.  And sometimes it is like pulling teeth to get us out of ourselves to see the light of self-sacrifice.  My friends, what is required of you will be something you love so dearly that your tender, aching fingers are clenching it so tightly while you are begging God not to take it from you.  You may spend moments or nights in tears asking why, why He has taken what you loved?  The truest form of a trusting heart is one that is able to eventually say “take it Lord if you see fit.”  Have I gotten there?  Not yet.  Speaking to other musicians out there, it’s amazing how tightly we cling to something we want to define our being.  We’re selfish.  We’re whining babies.  And we want the glory all to ourselves.   This is a huge part of our walk with God- that we learn that it isn’t about us, the world doesn’t revolve around our wants and desires (contrary to popular American culture) and that love isn’t some fanciful, whimsical anthropology ad, facebook album or advertisement like we are spoonfed to believe.  True love doesn’t always look pristine.  It’s gritty.  It’s getting your hands in the dirty with others’ residue.  It’s sticking your neck out for someone.  It’s rubbing elbows with the less fortunate of society.  It’s being uncool to show kindness.  It’s sacrifice of self and more than you ever thought it would be when you agreed to follow Him years ago.

~lme

A mind with a view

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Jessie Woodrow- thanks to this organization 

After listening to some thoughts from people last week, I realized that our whole perspective on life is really twisted.  We, and I, live in fear of aging of dying and leaving this world, but it shouldn’t be this way.  We should see our lives as the portal into eternity.  What if I always viewed my life that way?  I might not get so upset at people or worry so much about trying to make my mark or prove myself to this slowly vanishing existence.   I struggle with looking forward to death.  How many of us do- in a positive way I mean? Realizing that ultimately if we’ve only been spent by and for ourselves, we’ve really not left much of a legacy here.

It’s like a funnel, this life.  It’s only siphoning us into a much larger world of eternal existence.  I can’t imagine what that’s like and frankly, it freaks me out sometimes and I have to stop thinking about it.  I think the unknown scares me.  I think sometimes I fear I’ll be bored forever.  But I heard an uplifting sermon recently that talked about how heaven will be eternal bliss.  That feeling of newness and excitement continually overpouring like a fountain.  Trusting God is something I have to work at.  I need to remind myself that he made me and knows me and wants good for me and knows exactly how to fulfill me.  I have to remember that the reasons I groan and ache here are because I am not at home with Him.  At times, I get too comfortable here- thus the problem with our poshy lifestyles.  It’s probably helpful to get out of that comfort zone more than we reside in it.

In conjunction with the end of your life is the perspective of the rest of your life.  It is interesting to realize what defines you when you start to strip earthly things away.  If you weren’t able to paint your body like a canvas with tattoos or the latest trend in the fashion industry or do your hair in a specific way or stand behind an instrument every night or shell out your fancy business cards, what would you look like?  Would your character speak volumes about who you are?  I am blessed to have several people who have reminded me of this recently.  These “about us” things really are just tangents to who we truly are.  Sometimes it’s easy to let our material goods and talents define us.  We’ve been taught to express ourselves since we were little.  And though I don’t deny that being unique and an individual is something God appreciates, maybe we tend to value people more or less for what they can DO and not who they ARE.  Inhabit who you are and the gifts you’ve been given, but also be willing to set them aside of you at times and say- that’s not who I am at the core- those are things that I do.  I think this is becoming more real to me as I have been shifting in my passionate pursuits and the desire to feverishly chase a dream has been melting a little from my heart.  Maybe it’s age or maybe I’m just tired.  But, strangely enough, I have had more opportunities to play music live than when I was touting my talents to the world and trying to figure out how to market myself and who to talk to in the music industry.  Funny how things begin to fall into place once you let go a little and just truly enjoy what you do and relinquish some control.

I don’t know where I’ll end up with music or writing or my career endeavors, but ultimately it doesn’t matter.  At the end of my life, what will matter is the way I’ve walked the journey through life.  It’s exciting to think big- to imagine yourself on an Olympic pedestal or playing music for those who truly love it or winning a Nobel prize.  But all of these things are just things that will collect dust and after the moment will cease to hold as much excitement as they once had.  Therefore, how you grow as an individual, the hard work that builds character, the way you treat others and the lives you influence all hold more weight than the actual attainment of the goal.  Remember that.  Tell me to remember that.  And let’s not let people, places or things define who we are.

~lme

Awaken Not Helena

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Photo credit: OSU commons, Herman and Maud 🙂

Humble abodes

Where the humble abide

Wild writhing garden

Filled with seedlings, free of pride

Sowing seeds of goodness

Dark the night gathers round

And storms are welling up

Beyond the iron gate, without a sound

Love is a word

Abbreviated

For sacrifice

Insatiated

Awaken not love

Until your season comes

Awaken not thy heart

Though you be the only one

Let love sleep

That is not meant for you

Awaken not thy heart

For one who is untrue

Opposites attract and they hope

to polish me

when I prefer

footloose and fancy free

something in the windy willows

whispers from a dream

to never tame myself

or settle

for one who prefers a cage

and I to sing

Awaken not love

Until your season comes

Awaken not thy heart

Though you be the only one

Awaken not a heartbeat

That is not meant for you

Patience in the pages

Til you discover what is true

Let them build their houses

And we will build a dream

Stronger than their mortar

Lacking love between the seams

I will watch them build bigger barns

And I know it’s not for me

Lighten our load

To set sail on open seas

Awaken not love

Until the season comes

Awaken not my heart

Though I remain the only one

I’ll bide my time

Til I belong

Wafting in and out

Carried off within a song

I’ll bide my precious time

to discover what is true

I’ll teach myself to wait, she said

Holding out for you.