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Monday poetry

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Photo Courtesy: Cornell Library photostream

Validation

I once buried a seed

The need to be filled

The coffin rests in the ground

It’s sinking deeper still

Leaves cover the ground

Over them we walk

And forget we ever saw them

We slowly pass above the fall-en

 

Chorus:

The sickness of validation

All across this sordid nation

Anxious feet near the reflecting flame

There are none who have been tamed

 

You say the way you feel is fine

You are what you are

The truth has brought to light

Just how lonely you are

The dead are walking

In this so-called harmony town

The ghosts of those who had pride

are pulling their own temples down

 

Chorus:

The sickness of validation

All across this sordid nation

Anxious feet near the reflecting flame

There are none who have been tamed

 

Bridge:

You stay on that side Beelzebub

And I’ll keep to myself

If moores are Scottish

And green is the irish claim

I will hold fast to what I know

It will keep me sane

Thoughtful Thursdays

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Photo Courtesy:  This flickr photostream

“I can’t really say 

why everybody wishes they were somewhere else

but in the end 

the only steps that matter

are the ones you take all by yourself.”

~the Weepies

–Somedays we’re self-conscious.  Some days we are other-conscious.  May we learn to be content in our skin and love the others in theirs as well.

–Many do I affect and others affect me as well.  May we all affect each other for good.

–I am no longer a kid, and my parents can no longer make decisions for my life.  May I make decisions that make both them and My Maker proud.

–There are daily pressures and concerns on my mind and shoulders.  May I be strong beneath the weight.

–Relationships and friendships are always difficult to keep tied and strong.  May I have the patience, wisdom and love to foster them so good things will grow.

–Love is sadly misunderstood.  It isn’t a warm feeling at all times, but a choice to put someone’s needs and feelings first.  May we all strive to love “in word and deed.”

~lme

Sacrifice and Mercy Ships

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Photo Courtesy:  This flickr photostream

David said he wouldn’t give to God what cost him nothing.  When we think about sacrifice, we think about giving up or letting go or compromising with someone.  But do we really think about it in practical terms?  I try to think about times in my life that I have actually sacrificed something and they are relatively few… or very small at that.  Sometimes I think about the things that others have done to get to where they are- be it working through medical school or working two jobs while raising a family as a single mom and so on.  The closest to sacrifice I think I have come is giving up some aspects of a music career when it didn’t coincide with my faith or the direction I believed was best for my life.  But here are a few things I’ve come to think sacrifice calls us to….

1.         A true sacrifice involves letting go of control.  Realizing that someone else is in control of your destiny can be both terrifying to accept but also comforting when you relinquish your tight grip.  When something is asked of you, you have a choice to give or a choice to make an excuse or divert the help to someone else.  What will you do where you have been called in that moment of service?

2.         A true sacrifice involves giving up something that is very dear to you as an offering.  I know I tend to think of it as something like letting someone have the last piece of pie or visiting the sick or helping someone jump their car.  But whatever it is, a sacrifice is made when we give of something that we dearly want.  Be it our time, our talents, our clothing, our house, our image…. We are called to lay it at His feet to be used for good.

3.         A true sacrifice involves giving up willingly and happily.  If we begrudge our giving, it does not have the proper effect on our heart.  It is when we push ourselves through that discomfort and continue our good efforts with a positive attitude that we will begin to see our actions change our mindset.  I believe action follows thought.  But I also believe that thought can come from the proper actions as well.  I believe this is why foot washing was

Today I’m feeling really compelled to go and do.  I feel like there is so much God has blessed me with and perhaps there is more that he expects of me.  Am I using what  I have for good or just merely for myself and my own pleasure?  I am not innocent of this mindset although with age it seems things become less about trying to prove oneself to an ever-changing and unforgiving world.  It isn’t easy to be truly honest with oneself…. But some days don’t you feel this stinging in your heart that there is more out there just waiting for you in regards to your “reasonable service?”

I was informed recently about this really cool organization that is currently in need.  It’s called Mercy Ships and they port all over the world, providing healthcare to the underprivileged.  It’s an awesome crew of people who work for various periods of time depending on what they are able to give.  There are countless types of jobs and there is an urgent need right now for several positions.  I am not able to currently be a part of this great organization, but perhaps within the next year, I may have the opportunity to join their cause.  Please check out their website and learn more about what they do.  And if you are serving in various other capacities you have found, keep up the great work.  He tells us to not grow weary while doing good, because He knows we need the continual encouragement even when we go unappreciated.

As you go through your week… let this be your mantra…

“Let kindness be on my tongue, love in my heart and wisdom in my mind so that I might bring even a little light into a world of darkness.

~lme

The Release of my EP, Pursuit!

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Album artwork by Casey McBride at TriangleCreativeGroup.com

I present you with my musical baby…. My EP titled Pursuit.  The title came from my feeling that all of us are in pursuit of something whether it be the pursuit of nature, of love, of our dreams and/or spiritual endeavors.  We are all ultimately moving toward something.

Working carefully for six months to create, write and finalize this project makes me feel really thankful to have completed such a task.  I can’t even say it was only a six month project since so much has gone into the creation of this all the way back to my first piano lesson at age 6.  Creativity is a process.  Everything we do builds on the past and the decisions we have made along the way.

My EP Pursuit has recently been released, and I feel like I have learned so much throughout that process.  Putting time, effort and emotion into something really taught me how to give even when it gets difficult.  Throughout it all, I had the most awesome producer, Michael Estok at Vibe Dial Studios.  He knew when to push me and he knew when to let me creatively go alone ahead.  He also knew when I was hangry and needed to take a break for some sustenance ha.

All of that aside, I am so blessed to present you with my debut EP.  Anyone and everyone is welcome to give it a listen at both of the links below.  Feel free to share as well!

www.leahedwards.bandcamp.com

www.soundcloud.com/leahandtheblacklandballad

I am starting to book shows and small tour dates in 2014.  If you know of anyone who might want to host a house show or just have any insight into a great venue in a particular area, feel free to send me an email with information.  Or even just email and say hey, hi and howdy!

leahemusic@gmail.com

I feel so blessed to have encouragement from readers, listeners, friends and family all over the country and great big world.  Thank you all so much for being there and being the supportive shoulders for me to stand on.  I did not create this all on my own.  Thanks to each and every one for the roles you have played in making this happen.

Love to you,

lme

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Essence of community

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Photo Courtesy:  this flickrstream

I really need you.  And you may need me, and her and him and also that guy.  Even those of us who claim we don’t.  Sometimes we don’t know how badly we just need the presence of someone until we spend an evening with one person or a group and realize how good it was for our souls.  It’s really amazing to see how God provides the things we need even when we might not know we need them.

Friends can come and go and it’s interesting to see a need for them in moments of crisis or moments of rejoicing.  The timing of our lives and our interactions are really cool.  Piecing together our past and how we arrive at today is a testament to the providence of God.  God created us with both a need for community as well as the opportunity to fulfill that need.  In fact, He creates us with needs and then also avenues for the fulfillment of those.  The crazy thing is when we start doing it our own way, it all starts to get a little wonky.  But here are some things that I’ve learned about that sense of community (even if it’s a small community) and how badly we need it.

  1. You don’t grow as much without community.  Being in a church or family where you are challenged or deal with frustrating people, you learn how to grow patience and produce fruit and be challenged to be better.  You also learn what you are capable of when you are called to rise to certain challenges.  You also don’t learn what it’s like together when always alone.  It’s easy to win alone when you are committed, but succeeding as a unit can be really helpful in teaching you how to compromise, how to communicate effectively and how to deal with conflict.
  2. Without community, you can become focused on the idea of being a self-made man.  If you think it is only because of yourself that you have succeeded at anything, then you are sadly warped.  Any talent, any gifts, any blessings first have come from God but in conjunction with that, there have been countless others along the way who have mentored you and fostered who you have become for good or bad.  Over time, the I did it my way mentality just begins to isolate the person with it and those around him or her.  Because who really wants to be friends with selfish people?
  3. Community gives a sense of belonging.  Like in a family, we come to find belonging and placement through our roles, so we find this acceptance and placement in our communities.  We become leaders or behind the scenes workers or various other parts of a whole.  When we utilize our talents and find areas where we are able to excel for the greater good, we are more fulfilled and find a healthy sense of self.

May you positively impact those in your spheres of influence this week.

~lme

The truth behind greatness

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Photo Courtesy:  Library of Congress flickr stream

Everyone wants to be someone great- it must be bred into our DNA.  We think….Why should I do menial things when living the biggest dream is what I’ve always wanted and what I deserve.  The American dream- work your way up, you don’t need anyone and stick it to everyone who never believed in you.  My thoughts exactly at one point….. but over time, perspective transforms.

My how we are so enamored with doing something incredible for God, desiring our narrative to be some testimony that the whole world talks about with lasting legacy that we lose sight of serving God in the small things.  If you are willing to do great things for God and make massive strides in the world, but ignore someone needing you right now, right here with spiritual, emotional or physical needs…. You have lost sight.  To neglect those hurting in front of you because you are just far too concerned with your “big project for God” is not what I believe he has in mind.  We see all the amazing things He has done throughout the centuries, and I believe there are reasons he wants us to see those things.  We need to know we serve a powerful and awesome God.  But lest we continue to seek glory for ourselves (yes even deemed spiritual good can be sought for ourselves), we neglect the simplicity of service.  It isn’t about everyone posting a blog or retweeting your stuff, giving money to your cause or having so many Facebook friends who lift you up high.  No my friends, it’s about doing the gross tasks, getting your fingers dirty, feeling uncomfortable around people and being willing to work behind the scenes without recognition, to do small things with great love (thanks Kayla) and to not have to tell everyone when and why you do what you do. 

I think about the story in the bible where the apostles are arguing over who is the greatest in the kingdom, and after awhile the Savior says, No, you have it wrong.  He tells them about humility and they have to become simple like kids.  And basically, we are the same way.  We’re always trying to do and be and at times seeking our own glory and wanting God to just work so much power through us.  But maybe He is every minute and we are ignoring it.  When you continually seek the great things to come your way, you miss the beauty of the goodness in the small things you can do.  I believe this is why God talks so much to us as people- one on one. You serve, you give, you do this for others.  He wants us to personally connect to our service and to know what it’s like to really give of ourselves.  Anyone can join a following and anyone can put money in a church plate, but how much harder it is to get out of yourself and push yourself to befriend someone odd or be kind to someone who is your enemy or to serve the wretched, poor and dirty in this world.

I struggle with all of this as well.  If I desire to brag about all my good deeds, then perhaps my heart needs a checkup.  So many times we assume people aren’t doing things in God’s kingdom, when really they are doing many thing and not having to broadcast them.  Do we need to know these acts of kindness and service at times? Yes, it can help us to see the good around us and to be encouraged to see God working through the lives of others.  But good things usually come to light and the good people do will eventually be talked about.  Don’t toot your own horn…. If you are serving and giving and loving then people will naturally take notice and when asked, you can direct that right back to God.  Also, ultimately it doesn’t matter if no one sees.  God knows.  And isn’t He really the only one who matters?

Go and do good things, be they massive or seemingly insignificant in this great big world.

~lme

That’s what I’m here for…

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Photo Courtesy:  The Library of Congress photostream

I used this phrase today while talking to someone at work.  And it hit me later.  When doing good and serving, do we truly think (and even in the small and insignificant, dirty tasks), this is what I’m here for.  Not that I’m here to be glorified or worshipped or thought well of or to become popular or well-liked or rich, but that I am put here to serve and help others come to God.  If we aren’t doing that, then do we really have an eternal purpose for being here?  If I said yes, I’d be justifying my own actions too.  Everything else is merely side roads that veer off the main road. 

How often in previous jobs have I thought- I’m better than this?  I deserve so much better, why is this happening to me?  Is that really the attitude we should ever have?  Should we better ourselves?  Of course, but contentment throughout our work situations and our frustrating relationships is something for which to strive.  But think about this, if you think you’re way too good to be somewhere or to be friends with someone, then perhaps God still wants you there to learn something through that place or through that person.  I can see this with my musical background.  If I had gotten the success I wanted when I was younger, I would not have been in the right place mentally for any of that.  It was only through seeing others leave their faith on the side of the road or watch the sickness in the industry around me that I was able to see the truth.  I’m thankful that I don’t feel as strong of the pulls that I used to feel, but they are apt to creep up at any time.  Therefore, I should work at contentment and continue doing good.

How often we spend our lives in pursuit of things that will eventually come to nothing.  May we strive to seek good, peace, God, not be apathetic, save the lost and to serve even when we feel inadequate or hopeless or frustrated or like it will bring us down from popularity.  I heard a quote by Josh Rosenthal on a podcast today on DIY Musician.  He said “The music is the means of the message- it isn’t the end result.”  So as music is the means and the gift that God gives me to glorify Him and do good works, so might a job or a relationship or an awkward situation or a trial.

Because ultimately, serving, giving more of myself and pointing others to God…. “that’s what I’m here for.”

-lme

Producing over consuming

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Photo Courtesy:  Smithsonian Institution

To be a great artist, you must be a producer, not a consumer.  You have to make time to produce… stuff people will listen to, things people will latch onto and ideas that people will connect with.  Don’t sit and watch tv, don’t zone out in laziness, don’t follow blindly.  The all-in musician will get farther down the road of success if they are willing to be active and even when it requires sacrifice, they are willing to make hard decisions.  To be a producer, a leader and a visionary… these are some things you’ll need in your back pocket:

  1. The grit.  People gonna gripe, people gonna doubt.  Don’t listen.  Just ignore what they say.  If you believe you have something worthy for the world, don’t give up on the craft and what you want to say.  Know that you have purpose for being here- to spread goodness, music and beauty that is desperately needed in a dark world.
  2. The Drive.  You can’t watch movies five nights a week, sit down when you get home from your day job or say “I don’t feel like it today.”  True love is seen when you have to do something even when you don’t feel like it.  If it was an easy path to musical success, more people would be taking it or at least excelling.
  3. The level-headedness.  You can’t believe the hype- you can’t believe what people say about you.  Listen to Rudyard kipling- you can’t listen to their praise or their negativity.  Keep pressing on in pursuit of your goals.  Don’t let others deter you as you strive to do better things than yesterday.  The ugliness of the naysayers will always surround you like a cloud of smog.  But put on that mask of confidence and walk through the ugliness surrounding you, knowing that the only people who tear others down are most unhappy inside themselves.  Look up- stand up- and you’ll move up.

Have a lovely Tuesday, dear friends 🙂

~lme

Fisherman and Plain Jane

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Photo Credit: North Carolina Archives

There is a man who holds my heart

Closer than he really knows

In a fishing village

Where no one ever goes

His eyes were brown like coffee beans

His sweater was wool

The first time that I met him

I knew I’d be his fool

 

Tie me down bandanna son

But you can’t have me now

The one who lets me fly will win this prize

You have the answer, even if it’s hidden to you now

 

Watercolor palette hue

I tapped on the window in search of the key

Then we are off into the night with our lanterns held high

So our feeble eyes might finally see

His bravery was a shadow like the others

Water below begs me to jump far

Darkness holding back my damp hair

Beneath an expanse of night-winking stars

 

Tie me down bandanna son

But you can’t have me now

The one who lets me fly will win this prize

You have the answer, even if it’s hidden to you now

 

Casting nets

On the other side of empty boats

They say only the lonely

Will forge a deeper moat

His boldness was a welcome come in

to a place where his weakness could be seen

so I unlatched all of my biggest fears

and let him just come in

 

Tie me down bandanna son

But you can’t have me now

The one who lets me fly will win this prize

You have the answer, even if it’s hidden to you now

Helena

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Photo Credit:  The Library of Congress flickr stream

There exists a place in Montana with mountains kissed by snow, where wild horses run free and as far as they can go.  In the bitter cold of winter, the wind cuts the side of the mountain and lifts their manes off their neck.  They guard the acres like loyal watchdogs and gracefully tromp about their home.  They are happy in their skin and do not judge the runts or the others who don’t look like them.  Trees grow with arms outstretched for some acceptance from the sun. 

There is a cabin nestled on the edge of the mountain.  Once inside, you immediately feel as if the space has wrapped you in an embrace, with flannels of warm reds, blues and greens and calico prints.  Chunky, naturally-derived furniture in various shades of wood grains can be seen all around.  After a long day of riding underneath the big sky, and a dinner comprised of chili, cornbread and warm chamomile tea, you inch far down into flannel sheets with a comforter to protect you.  A cedar chest rests at our feet with yellowed love letters and a diary filled with secrets. 

Should I be in the forest of Tennessee or the thicket of Texas or the mountains of Colorado or underneath the big sky of Montana, as long as I dwell in natural earth, my heart shall be free. 

~lme